ArcaMax

Once they got married ALL of us have endured various amounts of exclusion, rudeness and isolation. We all feel like we have to walk on eggshells. One member of the group has NEVER even been allowed to see one of her son's children. How devastating.

We don't sit around and badmouth our daughters-in-law when we are together, but we do support and offer opinions to each other as issues come up. We would all LOVE to have these smart, beautiful women closer to us, but instead, we seem to lose our sons.

I'm very confused about why so many of that generation are so uncaring to their in-laws.

Most of us MIL's are really nice people. We treated our own in-laws with gratitude for raising the men we ended up marrying. What do you think?

-- MIL

Dear MIL: This dynamic seems to crop up even before the wedding, when grooms become marginalized. Then, in most families, women still assume the great bulk of the work of household and parenting.

Naturally, these women who run the household and control the family schedule are more oriented toward their own parents than their partner's.

Some of this dynamic will change when men step up and assume more of a role at home. This is definitely happening, but until it does, parents of sons should ask them to be more proactive about evening out family time.

Dear Amy: You made a wise statement in a recent column: "Anxiety doesn't make people mean."

Years ago, my psychiatrist wouldn't allow the excuse that having anxiety and depression gave me the freedom to be rude. She said I had "poor social skills" and had to learn to get along better and act like an adult -- to take responsibility for my own behavior.

Your advice to "Anxious" was spot-on.

-- Grown-up

Dear Grown-up: Very sage advice from your psychiatrist. And you were wise to follow it.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)