Mother raised the kids to be independent. Now what?
I'm late for work. I neglect school. I don't get sleep. How can I be a good person to someone who doesn't want my help and who can't accept it?
Dear Upset: You can't be the good person you want to be if you neglect your own health and well-being trying to serve the needs of someone who rejects your efforts.
The first step toward emotional healing and wellness for her would be to learn how to generously love the person who loves her. If she isn't willing to at least try to communicate, then you should consider leaving the relationship, for your own sake.
Dear Amy: "Dreading" was very concerned about how to behave around his brother, who had recently come out as gay. Instead of offering him support, you used your answer to promote yourself and your liberal views. Shame on you.
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Dear Unhappy: "Dreading's" brother's sexuality is not up for debate. Treating this gay brother simply like a brother instead of some sort of gay problem would have been a good place to start.
(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: email@example.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)