ArcaMax

I love him so much that I keep letting him play with my heart.

I am having a hard time trying to be "friends with benefits" because I have such strong feelings for him. His family loves me, his daughter loves me and my kids love him and his family.

We've been doing this for almost two years. I practically live there when my kids are not with me. I am afraid of letting him go. I'm afraid I won't find someone like him. What should I do?

-- Confused Heart

Dear Confused: When you start loving yourself as much as you claim to love this guy, you will find the strength to move on. Your stark choice is to either accept this relationship as it is, or to leave the relationship because it is not what you want. You've spent two years accepting a relationship that you claim is not good for you. You will never get those years back.

It might help if you imagined one of your children grown up and in a relationship like this. What would you tell them to do?

Dear Readers: My own life is probably a lot like yours. I've experienced poverty, prosperity, marriage, divorce, remarriage, step-parenting, caretaking, loss and grief. If you've ever been curious about the life behind the advice column, I hope you'll consider picking up my memoir, "Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Coming Home." (2017, Hachette).

========

(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)