Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Mother's cancer gets in the way of a wedding

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Last April my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

This past Labor Day, I got engaged.

Now my fiancee and I are trying to make our wedding plans.

I would like to get married sooner rather than later, as my mother's prognosis is not great.

My fiancee would like more time to plan our wedding -- and enjoy the process.

I fully understand this, and would like to have more time myself.

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In addition, her parents are paying the majority of the wedding costs, and are worried about losing a deposit if something happens. Any advice?

-- Confused Fiance

Dear Confused: I can think of another person who would like to have more time to "enjoy the process," and that is your mother.

I (almost) hate to do this, but I have a rhetorical question for you: What kind of person is this woman you are planning to marry, who gets engaged -- already knowing that her future mother-in-law has pancreatic cancer -- but doesn't feel compelled to do everything possible to make sure her beloved's mother will be able to attend and enjoy the wedding?


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