Interracial dating upsets parents
Dear Amy: I am in my early 20s, and have recently started seeing someone from a different race. He and I went to high school together.
He is honestly the best guy I've ever dated. He is honest, funny, sweet, and caring. He treats me wonderfully.
I have always been very private when it comes to my relationships, and have never introduced my parents to anyone I'm interested in. However, I felt like I wanted to slowly introduce him to my family. Even if it never turns into a long-term relationship, I feel like I've found a good friend.
My parents were OK at first, occasionally asking if we were dating (to which I answered no). However, my parents now say that if I want to live under their roof (I moved home to save money for law school), this relationship will not be happening.
They say, "This world already has enough problems; you don't need to add this one (meaning an interracial relationship) to the mix."
My parents have always been loving and supportive, and it seems so silly that they are basing their judgment of him purely on the color of his skin. Shouldn't they only care about the way he treats me? What should I do?
-- Upset
Dear Upset: Yes, your parents should only care about how you are treated. But -- guess what -- parents are human and fallible, and don't always make choices their children appreciate.
Parents who have adult children living at home have the right to control the use of the family car, expect financial or chore contributions, and make conditions concerning smoking, drinking, drug use, and occasional reasonable curfews. These are all lifestyle choices that have an impact on the household.
They don't have the right to choose your friends. However, your folks own the house you're living in. They can set up whatever structure they want, even if it is unreasonable.
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