Married couple might put a stamp on arguments
Frequently, I will invite my sister to visit and spend time with me in our home town (she lives 90 minutes away). Sometimes she will visit, but most of the time, she declines. (I also visit her occasionally.)
However, my sister does travel here to see her friends from high school. I will see on Facebook that she has been basically around the corner, and I wrestle with really childish feelings regarding her choices.
What can I say, or how should I react to this?
-- Sister Indeed
Dear Sister: You have to understand and absorb that your sister has the right to travel wherever she wants, without clearing it with you, or also seeing you. The fact that her travels take her to her hometown to see friends complicates this, because you already live nearby.
Do you think your sister should see you every time she comes home? I assume not. If you had friends in her town, would you visit her each time you visited them? I assume not.
You could mention this to her, and she might choose not to post her whereabouts when she is home, but then she would be cornered into being sneaky. Understand that your reaction feels childish because our sibling relationships have a way of taking us back to childhood.
Dear Amy: "Torn survived an abusive marriage and described a new relationship with a much older man who wasn't "in her league." Like you, I was alarmed at her judgment to ask this man to move in with her and her toddler.
Thank you for picking up on this, and for advocating for this child.
-- Grateful
Dear Grateful: The child was the only person in this scenario without a voice. I thought this mother was showing very poor judgment.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
