Parents test drug-taking son
The first time, we just gave him the money. I was thinking that this time maybe we should pay the bill holders directly and then have him pay us back, but would that be enabling him?
Will we ever stop worrying?
-- A Lot to Handle
Dear A Lot: It is somewhat surprising that your adult son would submit to drug testing from you. I appreciate your effort to try to sustain and support his sobriety, but you are in denial about some important details. Your denial is the crack he will fall through.
For instance, you state that you "don't support him financially or in any other way," and then in the next sentence you state that you DO support him financially and in every other way.
Do not give him money. Do not pay his bills (this only frees up money to fund his habit). Use whatever money you might have spent supporting him for professional drug counseling for him.
Do not give up on your son. Be extremely skeptical about anything he tells you regarding his drug use. Tell him that you love him and that you will support his sobriety, but not his habit.
You and your husband should attend "friends and family" support meetings and also receive counseling.
Dear Amy: A couple of days ago, I met a friend for a late breakfast at a nearby café. We were there for 50 minutes total, from the time we sat down, ordered, were served, ate and were getting a last cup of coffee.
A manager approached us and asked us to leave, saying that there was a large party needing two tables.
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