Woman upsets her mother by getting birth control
I have always been one to passively avoid problems, but I want to do everything I can to promote my relationship with my mother and my boyfriend. Your insight?
-- Can't Un-ring That Bell
Dear Can't Un-ring: While I, personally, feel your mother should have thrown a parade in your honor -- or at least respected your choice -- I also completely understand her reaction to this.
This episode falls under the category of, "My house, my rules," and furthermore, I believe you know it.
Using birth control is about you making a very important choice regarding your own body. However, if you are making adult choices regarding your own body, then why are you inviting your mother's involvement by having her pay for it?
Your habit of passively avoiding discussing challenging issues could be interpreted here as an immature (or subconscious) bid to force the matter.
And so now the matter has been forced.
Understand that your mother is disappointed and struggling. You and your boyfriend should offer again to compensate her for the cost of your clinic visit. And you should ask her if she would like you to move into your own place.
Your boyfriend could make amends by standing alongside you as your loving partner, not waiting while you try to smooth things over. You two should bravely ask your mother how you can earn back her respect.
Dear Amy: My stepdad tickles me a lot. I've told him to stop, that I don't like it and that it makes me uncomfortable. When I get mad about him tickling, especially when I'm feeling sick, he starts to go out of his way to tickle me more and even warns me about it. He tells me, "I'm gonna tickle you more now," and when I say "no" he says, "It wasn't a question."
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