Engagement puts strain on in-law relationship
-- Stressed-out Bride
Dear Stressed-out: The comment, "You only get married once... well, hopefully." is TRUE. Maybe I'm missing the context that made you cry, but that is basically a true statement.
Your future mother-in-law sounds very cynical about weddings. She should keep her cynicism to herself, and being honest about your own feelings beats blubbering in the corner.
Toughen up like the tough cookie you are, and make a determination not to be exposed to this condescension. If you don't want her involved in your wedding, then don't involve her. At all. Discuss only matters that have to do directly with her.
You also need to figure out why your feelings are so tender that you don't dare be left alone with her. When you learn to respond -- firmly and respectfully -- she will adjust her attitude, or at least learn that the way she talks to you has consequences.
Note to you: You are not "taking her youngest son from her." You are marrying him. He is not a piece of property, to be traded or fought over.
Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for 23 years. Lately, she seems to be angry with me.
I ask her what is wrong, and she says "nothing."
I feel like I am being held hostage, wondering what I did wrong.
I am almost ready to pack up a few belongings and leave and not tell her why, but I love her to pieces and would miss her.
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