ArcaMax

Dear Weight Does Not Equal: When I was a child, my own grandparents lived across the country. We rarely saw them. But whenever we did see them, my grandmother's only comments to her grandchildren involved our weight, our looks and our relative standing (in attractiveness) to our cousins.

Realistically, my grandmother might have had much more extensive conversations with my siblings and me, but once she called me a little fatty, my ears started ringing and I didn't hear anything else.

As a parent, when a similar dynamic surfaced, I privately asked the in-law not to comment on weight, and they were very receptive to this correction.

If your mother-in-law casually hurls one of these comments your way, in the moment you should say, "Please, let's not discuss our weight today." Your husband will never push back, possibly because he doesn't want to land in their crosshairs.

Otherwise, concerning their behavior -- gasbagging on about themselves, hurling insults across the table, demonstrating a lack of interest in others -- all of this simply means that family members will do their best to avoid spending time with them.

This is too bad for all of you, and it is probably not the way they want to be remembered.

Dear Amy: I love my guy, but at times he can be as cold as ice.

Here is the scenario: I am busy making a delicious dinner in the kitchen. I ask him, "Honey will you feed the dog?" His answer? "No." No further comment.

I ask him why, even though I am pretty sure I know why. It is because this very sweet little rescue dog belongs to my son, who left her at our house without consulting us.

I fell in love with this dog as soon as I saw her.

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