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Family group wonders how to split cabin cost

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I hope you come to terms about this before the event. It wouldn't be much of a celebration for your folks if their kids were bickering over money during the weekend.

I'm sure readers will want to weigh in with their own recommendations.

Dear Amy: My husband's parents live across the country. We have a 22-month-old son and are expecting a baby girl in April.

When they visit, they prefer to stay for two to three weeks, and over the past year I've had to ask them to shorten their visits to a week, and we compromised on 10 days. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so being here all day with them for more than a week for me is too invasive.

With the new baby coming, I am getting the vibe that they want to stay longer than a week.

I feel for them that they only get to see these grandchildren a few times a year, but I'm already getting anxious thinking about them here for weeks after I give birth, during a time when I will really just want to bond with my baby.

My conflict is I don't know if I should just suck it up and let them stay longer or have the awkward conversation that I only want a week. My husband is supportive either way, although I'm sure he'd like them to stay for weeks. Other than this issue I have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws and love them to pieces.

Thank you. I'd really appreciate your opinion and advice.

-- New Mom

 

Dear Mom: You should stand your ground and very respectfully state your own needs concerning the length of their stay. Be aware that with a toddler in the house, these eager grandparents could be very helpful by entertaining him while you attend to your newborn.

It sounds as if they stay with you during their visits. Give them reasonable and helpful functions so that they can feel at home and also be useful to you.

They seem to visit several times a year. If they eliminated one 10-day trip, they might save enough money to rent a nearby furnished apartment for a month. These visits might still require you to entertain them during the day, but not having them stay with you would relieve some of the pressure.

Dear Amy: You ran a letter from "Disturbed," who was worried that her boyfriend was such an introvert. You should have encouraged this couple to join a Toastmasters group. I did this, and it was a great and safe environment to overcome my extreme shyness.

-- More Outgoing

Dear Outgoing: There is nothing "wrong" with being an introvert, and introversion doesn't necessarily need fixing. But "Disturbed" did say her boyfriend wanted to work on his anti-social shyness. Many readers suggested Toastmasters (toastmasters.com) and I thank you all.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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