Security system reveals neighbor's habit
This concerned mother can put two and two together and draw her own conclusions. Based on what you tell her, she can choose to act or do nothing.
Dear Amy: My first marriage was to a habitual cheater. We were together for 27 years. My current husband is a really decent guy. We've been together for 13 years. However, this sexy, decent guy has now started making remarks about, "living alone."
We own two homes and he has a camper at a hunting camp that he can go to. The problem is that I do not want to be in a marriage where we live separately.
I have been a very good wife to him. Our sex life is extra good and I know that he loves me.
What should I do? How should I respond? I have told him, "Be careful what you wish for."
-- Worried
Dear Worried: I think there are a lot of people in great marriages who adore their spouses and also fantasize about living alone -- or at least being alone for some periods.
And, of course, many (less happily married) couples might as well be living alone, because they lead parallel domestic lives where they share the same space but never connect.
Your husband's statement is a blunt bid for a conversation. You could ask him the open-ended question: "What would your ideal situation be where you could stay married but live the way you want?" He may tell you that he would love to spend one weekend each month during the season hanging out in his camper. Would you welcome -- or tolerate -- scheduled absences?
You were married to a chronic cheater, and so you may associate being apart with being cheated on. But for many people, being alone is really an opportunity to regroup, recharge, skip the tyranny of dinnertime if they feel like it and retain full command of the TV remote. Obviously, if this is not what you want, you need to be honest.
Dear Amy: "Upset Wife" described how her husband insisted on getting a large breed dog to replace a previous dog, which bit him, resulting in the dog being "put down."
Amy, in your answer you described this as "having the dog killed." Thank you. These euphemisms don't describe the reality.
-- Animal Lover
Dear Animal Lover: I grew up on a farm, where certain realities were inescapable.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
