Join the Club

"I got an invitation on Facebook to join the Magnetic Eyelashes Fan Club," I told my husband as I stared at my computer screen.

"What does that even mean?" he asked incredulously.

"It's a group on Facebook for people who like magnetic eyelashes, I assume."

"Is that a thing?" he asked.

"Apparently," I said. "Although I don't wear fake eyelashes, magnetic or otherwise, so I don't know why I got an invite."

I sighed. This wasn't the first time I'd been invited to join an obscure club on Facebook. It seemed like recently the invites were coming faster and faster and the clubs were becoming more and more specific. There was the club for "People Who Prefer Camels with One Hump, Not Two." Yet another club called "When I Was Your Age Pluto Was a Planet." And the ever-popular "Friends Don't Let Friends Wear Mom Jeans." I was invited to each of these, and I can't fathom why. I don't really have any opinions one way or another about any of these, and especially the number of humps a camel should have. I'm more concerned with not getting too close to a camel so I don't get spit on.

Since my Facebook friends were the ones who were inviting me to join Facebook groups, it occurred to me that I didn't need to stop getting Facebook group invites. I needed to get some new Facebook friends.

"I got another invite for a group called 'I Always Push the Door That Says Pull,'" I continued.

"What is there to talk about in that group?" my husband wondered.

"Not much, I guess. I think it's more about keeping out the people who pull the door that says 'push,'" I said.

"You know, there is a way to stop getting these group invites," said my husband.

"What?"

"Stop going on Facebook," he said.

"I can't do that," I replied.

"Why not?"

"Because then I wouldn't know what stupid Facebook groups my friends are all joining."

He sighed and left the room. But the issue gnawed at me. Every time I went on Facebook, I was being bombarded by invites. In the past 24 hours, I got invites to "People Who Suffer from the Fear that Somewhere, Somehow, a Duck is Watching You," "Gnomes are People, Too," and the somewhat relatable "I Use the Word Thingy When I Forget What It's Called," which is a group I might actually join. It got to the point where I was so busy deleting group requests that I almost didn't have time to tell all my friends I secretly prefer camels with one hump.

"You know, all these invites got me thinking," I finally said to my husband. "I decided I'm going to start my own Facebook group."

"What is it?" he asked.

"People on Facebook Who Hate Facebook Groups."

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Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, "Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble," available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www.tracybeckerman.com

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