How To Tell if You're Too Old To Be President

on Mar 9, 2024

Have you ever been excited to try out a new slang word you just learned, only to have the same young person tell you it's time to get your affairs in order because death is whispering her siren call?

Have you ever swallowed a blood pressure pill, closed the cap, set down the bottle and thought, "Did I take my blood pressure pill?"

Have you gone to the doctor and described an internal pain? Have you waited while the doctor glanced sidelong at your age on the chart? Did the doctor reply, "Yeah, that will happen"?

Have you ever felt a slight chill? Have you gone to the bedroom to grab a cardigan? Have you thought, "While I'm up, I'll just use the bathroom"? While in the bathroom, did you remember that you hadn't done your skincare? Did you apply several lotions and serums? Did you draw in close to examine ... yep, a zit next to a wrinkle? Did you mutter, "I am (insert age). How is this *@#^ possible?" Did you review the ingredients on the latest serum? Did you run a brush through your hair? Did you organize the floss drawer? Did you leave the bedroom without a cardigan? Did you sit back down and feel a slight chill?

You, too, might be too old to be president.

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Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @stephhayes on Twitter or @stephrhayes on Instagram.

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