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This Summer, Beware the Wet Families in Hotel Lobbies

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Summer vacations are full of hazards. Red tide. Jellyfish. College coeds drinking High Noons. Older people drinking High Noons, before heading to the room for an antacid.

But no threat is as pervasive, as deadly, as unsettling as this:

Wet Families.

Did you just shudder? Wrap a light scarf around your shoulders? You know what I'm talking about. We spent a few days in Daytona Beach, Florida, and though it was not our first summer vacation, the plague of Wet Families fully crystallized. My theory is that more families are out getting wet than ever, having been dry for so long.

What are Wet Families? I'm glad you asked.

No. 1. They are wet.

 

No. 2. They are families.

Good, that's out of the way. Let's go a little deeper.

No. 3. Wet Families are at any recreation spot with a water source. The beach, a pool, a lake, a flume ride. Wet Families are especially prevalent at all-inclusive water amusement parks.

No. 4. Members of Wet Families are never solo. They travel in high numbers, finding other Wet Families and congregating in a humid, breathy huddle. Hotel lobbies are their natural habitat. Want to spot the most Wet Families? Stand near the elevator or the display of Pop-Tarts.

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