Jimmy: 'Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.'
Mike: 'To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.'
Jimmy: 'What? Let me get this straight... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?'
Mike: 'Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish.'
Jimmy: 'Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.'
Mike: 'That's what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he's terribly off-key and it's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?'
On his way to the store, DarthBean runs across Obi Wan and Quii Gonn Scared Of DarthBean Padme takes the Long way
Emma talks to guest hosts Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman about working on Deadpool & Wolverine, giving Ryan COVID, shaving their head, the best advice Ryan and Hugh passed along, being on a late night show for the first ...Read More
Who talks wrong now? Anakin, Obi-Wan and the other Jedi, or Yoda? Technically Yoda is the only one in that universe who talks with the correct grammar, so is he right or wrong? These are the important questions.
Meanwhile: Researchers found unprecedented levels of cocaine in a group of sharks, Snoop is set to carry the Olympic torch during the festivities in Paris, and there's a shocking development in the Hello Kitty world.
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but ...Read More
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
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