Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but ...Read More

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.

The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."

Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we called the customer support phone number we found in the manual.

I picked up the phone and called the number. A ...Read More

Benny Shapiro worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He used to tell his friends that he was the curator, although his primary job was to keep the exhibits clean and polished. One day he happened to be dusting around ...Read More

My wife noticed that the couples in all of those Viagra commercials are always dancing.

Now she wants me to try it. She thinks it will improve my dancing.

Q: Why are lawyers always buried twelve feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they're all nice guys.

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery.

Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
...Read More