Hey sports fans! Come watch the Competitive Sleeping League Championship finalists punch their ticket on the sleepy-time train to Dreamland. Brought to you by Marpac!
Tonight President Trump held a big rally up in Minnesota. It’s part of his plan to get as far away from the Mexican border as possible.
Authorities in Florida are searching for two men who left an injured alligator at a convenience store. Said the alligator: ‘No, no, it’s cool. They said they’d “see me later.”
Sweet lord — ‘tender age shelter’? That’s a hell of a fancy way to pronounce ‘baby jail.’ That’s a real euphemism. It’s like calling a cross burning a ‘meatless barbecue.’
Donald Trump did the impossible. In that, he said it was impossible to end his own policy of cruelly separating families at the border until, for political reasons, he was forced to.
Trump made it a big signing ceremony to make it look like he did something good, instead of admitting he was just ending the evil thing he started. That’s like wanting credit for solving the crimes you committed. It’s ...Read More
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
How do you describe an angry potato?
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he ...Read More