Last night’s Oscars broadcast was over three and a half hours long. Wow. To put that in perspective, that’s longer than most jobs last in the White House.
1. Don't squat with your spurs on.
2. Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none.
3. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
4. Always drink upstream from the herd.
5. ...Read More
An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you ...Read More
"Happy Birthday to Jessica Simpson who turned 25 years old on Sunday. Jessica threw a surprise party for herself - and it worked. She had no idea!" --Jay Leno
"If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to ...Read More
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on ...Read More
One day our physics professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and ...Read More
Hugh Grant (Alex Moffat), Alan Alda (Bill Hader), Ellen DeGeneres (Kate McKinnon), Wesley Snipes (Chris Redd), Roseanne Barr (Aidy Bryant), Adam Sandler (Pete Davidson), Whoopi Goldberg (Leslie Jones), Pee-wee Herman (...Read More