The following are actual medical records [supposedly] taken from patients' actual medical charts...
-- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
-- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
-- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
-- She is numb from her toes down.
-- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
-- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
-- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
-- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
-- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.