Going Back

Bob Goldman on

You never thought the day would come.

You've been working remotely for so long and enjoying it so much that the idea that you would have to go back to an office seemed, well, remote. But with vaccines on the horizon and employers not exactly thrilled about paying rent on tens of thousands of square feet of empty office space, the days when your commute is the distance from your bedroom to your kitchen table will inevitably come to an end.

It's true! No matter how productive you have been, if you need a salary for frivolous expenses like food, you will have no choice but to leave your cozy home office hideaway and trudge back to work. (Or take the bus. Or the freeway. Either way, it's a trudge.)

I'd write you an excuse -- "Billy can't come in to work today. He's too comfy working from home in his jam-jams." -- but I can't. What I can do is remind you what to expect when you do get back to working at work.

For example:

The Information Technology Department


When you have a computer problem at home, you fix it yourself. You may have to enlist a 12-year-old neighbor to help, but together, you got it done.

When you return to the office, your computer is the property of the information technology department, "IT" to its friends, not that it has any.

The first rule of IT is that you must never, ever touch your computer. Thinking of plugging in your computer? That's a no-no. How about unplugging your computer? That's grounds for firing if you're lucky or a firing squad if you're not.

As your IT professional will explain in terms a 5-year-old would understand, only trained IT professionals are capable of understanding the awesome power of the company's computers, which operate in something called "the cloud."


swipe to next page



Bizarro David Fitzsimmons Non Sequitur Cul de Sac Herb and Jamaal Jeff Danziger