Too Good for My No-Good Job
Interestingly, the companies that had the most hoarders were the worst performing. From these results, the Corporate Productivity people decided that "clinging to people is bad for business."
Bad for business? Possibly, but it's great for losers like thee and me, who are allowed to keep our jobs because, as bad as we are, our manager can't stand to see another manager take us over.
Unfortunately, companies have decided that talent hoarding must be eliminated. Instead of giving life sentences to employees, good, bad and superbad, top management wants to "expand internal mobility for staffers, leading to more job hopping within upper management."
That's the goal of Avanade consulting CEO Adam Warby, who "initiated a push to shift leaders to new roles every few years." Imagine if you worked under such a radical regime and your cozy relationship with your manager was ruined by the introduction of a new firebrand who wanted to offer new opportunities to top performers?
While such a policy may benefit the freaks and geeks in your company who actually want to do a good job, the decision to upset the status quo is unlikely to work in your favor. It's damp and dark under your rock, but as long as no one turns it over and exposes you to the light, it keeps you safe.
Ally Financial Inc. is another company that encourages mother-bird managers to push their best and brightest fledglings out of the nest. The online lender "discourages talent hoarding through career roundtables where executives typically review potential inside prospects to fill vacancies." The company "even allows staffers to pitch their qualifications to senior managers who have immediate or imminent openings."
This is one opportunity you will definitely want to avoid.
If you think you'd feel a tad bit uncomfortable explaining to a top-level executive roundtable why you desperately want to leave your current beast of a manager, imagine the excitement you'll experience when no one takes the bait, you don't get a new position, and you have to go back to work for the same beast, now highly insulted and inflamed.
One haunting aspect to all this employee hoarding: Why would a manager would hoard you? Is it because he is channeling The Punisher and feels that you deserve years of unrelenting torture? Or is your manager also bad at their job and truly believes you have value? Either way, it's a leaky boat and I recommend you don't rock it.
After all your screw-ups, if your manager still wants to hoard you, you've got a position -- and a manager -- you really want to keep.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company, but he finally wised up and opened Bob Goldman Financial Planning in Sausalito, California. He now works out of Bellingham, Washington. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at email@example.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.