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Party Your Way to Career Success

Bob Goldman on

It's just not fair!

You expect to be supervised and criticized and terrorized when you're on the job. It's just not right for you to be supervised and criticized and terrorized when you're off the job.

For example, when you're at an office party.

Whether it's birthday party, a holiday party or just a team-building exercise detailing the CEO's Tesla, the requirement to enjoy these events -- or look like you're enjoying them -- is a significant challenge. You know you're not going to have fun. You pray you will survive.

The goal of attending any office function is, of course, to stay long enough to show that you're a loyal employee, but not so long that you punch out the snack machine. It is also a good opportunity to drink free and, if you handle it right, significantly cut grocery costs. No matter how cheap the company, you should be able to walk away with enough generic crackers and spray cheese to take care of your nutrition needs for a week. [I don't care how much Amazon lowers prices at Whole Foods. A week's supply of Hungry-Man Home-Style Meatloaf Dinners still costs beaucoups bucks.]

Could office parties be any worse?

You bet!

According to a recent Karla L. Miller column in "The Washington Post Magazine," some employers are making your good behavior, or lack thereof, at office parties part of your regular performance review.

You can imagine the consequences.

"Sorry, we have to let you go," you manager tells you after accounting's dreaded "Tax-Time Texas Hoe-Down" in the company cafeteria. "Your work is excellent, but you're just not performing up to expectations in your electric slide."

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