Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Man struggles to re-connect with old friends
Dear Eric: I am a married man in my early 40s with no kids.
My wife does a good job keeping in touch with friends of hers from her childhood and throughout the years in her life despite not living near them and being in different phases of life.
It's admittedly a lot harder for me. I have a few close buddies that I continue to keep in touch ...Read more
Couple Ponders Real Estate Investment
DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with my boyfriend. We rent an apartment together and split all of our expenses. I've been able to save up, and now I am interested in investing in real estate. I don't know what that means for me and my boyfriend, though. I mentioned my interest to him a few months back to see what he thinks, and he thinks real estate ...Read more
The Case Of The Slippery, Sliding Salmon
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequently attend luncheons at which the entree consists of bagels, lox (smoked salmon) and cream cheese.
Bagels have grown in size substantially since my childhood. Nowadays, a whole bagel is too much for me, so I carefully take one half with the tongs provided. I spread it with cream cheese, then lay a slice or two of lox...Read more
Caught Between Daughter and Granddaughter
Dear Annie: My daughter, 31, left home at 19 to attend university. Within weeks, she began dating a boy she'd met through the school's Facebook group. Coming from our cultural background, we weren't comfortable with relationships outside marriage, but after two years, she moved in with him, mostly on her terms. They lived together for six ...Read more
Sensor Light Illuminates More Than One Problem
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have lived in a country home for the past 25 years. When we moved here, our only neighbors were wild turkeys, deer and raccoons. Behind our house were 20 acres of woods, which extended into a cornfield. We were isolated and loved it.
Since then, a housing development has slowly been built around us. Last fall, a couple ...Read more
Asking Eric: Decades later, bullies still have power
Dear Eric: I’m 75 and I have a problem I've dealt with for a long time. It has to do with bullies. In school I had fists shaken in my face, I was laughed at because I was skinny, shy and had bad pimples. I couldn't wait to leave school each day.
At a very large company I did well professionally, however, the bullying never stopped. It ...Read more
Daughters Make Mom Rethink Relationship With Husband
DEAR HARRIETTE: My adult daughters absolutely refuse to call or visit their father, and it's become a constant point of tension in our family. I'm still married to him, and while they love me, they make it clear they want nothing to do with him. They grew up watching me handle almost everything in the household all while working full time. ...Read more
Great Date Idea: Forced Proximity, Zero Conversation
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is a ride on a motorcycle a good idea for a first date? My date showed up carrying two helmets and wearing a leather jacket.
I had to put my arms around him so as not to fall off the bike, which was embarrassing. My date is otherwise very traditional. The ride was fun, although we didn't get a chance to talk.
GENTLE READER: ...Read more
When Healthy Habits Turn Into Unhealthy Critiques
Dear Annie: When my boyfriend decided to get serious about his health earlier this year -- cleaner eating, regular workouts -- I was super proud of him. I cheered him on and swapped out our snacks without complaint. For the first few months, it brought out the best in him.
But somewhere along the way, his personal reboot turned into an ...Read more
Family's Collective Mental Health Is Declining Rapidly
DEAR ABBY: As my parents have aged, my father has been misremembering things or making wrong assumptions. It has increasingly gotten on my mom's nerves (she has also become more impatient and snappy lately), and she has been yelling at him in response. Sometimes, he responds back, but usually he doesn't.
My sister snapped at them, saying she is...Read more
Asking Eric: Parents struggle with cutting off financially dependent daughter
Dear Eric: My daughter will be 37 in a month but has never been able to completely support herself. She has a degree from a good university but is unable to keep a job for more than a year or so.
She presently works as a restaurant hostess at a high-end restaurant. She has lived with her younger boyfriend for five years with no plans to marry. ...Read more
Woman Stuck Between Safety And Emotional Attachment
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 75-year-old woman who has lived in the same charming walk-up apartment in New York City for more than 40 years. This place has seen me through marriage, motherhood, widowhood and every season of my life. Recently, the three flights of stairs have become almost impossible for me to manage. My knees ache, I get winded easily ...Read more
Can I Revoke My Open Invitation?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a cancer diagnosis two months ago. Initially, I was quite open in discussing it with others when warranted -- for example, explaining to co-workers why I would be out on certain days. I had a lot of optimism and didn't feel I needed privacy, so I gave people carte blanche to ask questions.
Now I'm regretting the ...Read more
How To Keep the Peace When He Won't Hold His Tongue
Dear Annie: Christmas at my parents' house used to feel magical, but lately it feels like I'm walking into a performance review. My older brother's new hobby is "radical honesty," and apparently the holidays are his favorite time to practice. Last year, as we decorated the tree, he announced that my handmade ornaments looked "like a Pinterest ...Read more
Date Change Of Funeral Leads To Death Of Friendship
DEAR ABBY: I had a friend, "Mylene," for many years. We swapped dog-sitting to offset the cost for each other. I helped her when she was sick and broke her foot. I walked her dog whenever she needed me. If a funeral, wedding or family emergency came up, I was always there for her.
An aunt of mine in another state passed away. I would have had ...Read more
Ask Anna: How do you know if early chemistry means anything when he's still dating around?
Dear Anna,
I’m 24 and recently started seeing a guy I’ve had a crush on for six months. We finally went on two dates and both went incredibly well. He was affectionate, introduced me to his friends, cooked me dinner, even cleared a little space on his bathroom shelf for my toothbrush. It all felt very sweet and intentional, and I left his ...Read more
Single File: Lifestyle Questions From the Survey
This week, the questions are geared toward those who are single again and have no children living at home. Next week, we'll turn the focus to those who have never been married.
--Has your sex life become freer, less inhibited, less routine since becoming single again? (About 55 percent said yes.)
--Why are you single again? (About 79 percent ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I balance 'You deserve zero red flags' with the reality that no one is perfect?
I got this interesting question recently, and it made me think. And when things make me think, you know I have to write about them!
Q: How do I balance ‘You deserve zero red flags’ with the reality that no one is perfect? Thank you!
A: Those are VERY different things. A red flag, by my definition, is objective: Someone is rude to people. ...Read more
Asking Eric: Readers offer creative ways to address divorce in Christmas cards
Dear Readers: On November 9, I answered a letter from someone who was trying to find a way to acknowledge her impending divorce in her Christmas cards, which would contain a photo of the letter writer and her kids, sans soon-to-be amicable ex. I made a few suggestions and invited you to lend your wisdom. Here are a few great suggestions and one ...Read more
After Boyfriend Cancels Plans, Woman Questions Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend really upset me recently. We made plans to go out to a restaurant that I've been looking forward to for weeks; it was special to me, and he knew how excited I was. The day before our reservation, he canceled because he "forgot" he had plans with a friend to go to some EDM event. Not only did he cancel at the last ...Read more
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