Since becoming a father a few months ago, I’ve been nursing a grudge against something tiny, seemingly inconsequential, and often discarded: instructional manuals. Parenthood requires a lot of gadgetry to maintain a kid’s health and welfare. Those gadgets require puzzling over booklets, decoding inscrutable pictographs, and wondering whether warnings can be safely ignored or are actually disclosing a hazard.

To give an example, my daughter, typically a cooing little marsupial, quickly discovered babyhood’s superpower: Infants emerge from the womb with talon-strength fingernails. She wasn’t afraid to use them, against either her parents or herself. So we purchased a pistachio-green, hand-held mani-pedi device.

That was the easy part. The difficulty came when we consulted the manual, a palm-sized, two-page document.

The wand-like tool is topped with a whirring disc. One can apparently adjust the speed of its rotation using a sliding toggle on the wand. But the product manual offered confusing advice: “Please do not use round center position grinding,” it said. Instead, “Please use the outer circle position to grinding.” It also proclaimed, “Stay away from children.” In finer print, the manual revealed the potential combination of kids and the device’s smaller parts was the reason for concern.

One would hope for more clarity about a doodad that could inadvertently cause pain.

Later, I noticed another warning: “If you do not use this product for a long time, please remove the battery.” Was it dangerous? Or simply an unclear and unhelpful yet innocuous heads-up? We didn’t know what to do with this information.

We now notice shoddy instructions everywhere.

One baby carrier insert told us to use the product for infants with “adequate” head, neck, and torso control — a vague phrase. (The manufacturer declined to comment.)

Another manual, this one online and for a car seat — a device that’s supposed to protect your kid — informed readers with words and images that a model baby was “properly positioned” relative to the top of the headrest “structure” when more than one inch from the top. Just pixels away, the same model, slumped further down, was deemed improperly positioned: “The headrest should not be more than 1” from the top of her head,” it said, in tension with its earlier instructions. Which was it, more than one inch or not? So we fiddle and hope for the best.

I acknowledge this sounds like new-parent paranoia. But we’re not entirely crazy: Manuals are important, and ones for baby products “are notoriously difficult to write,” Paul Ballard, the managing director of 3di Information Solutions, a technical writing firm, told me.

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