Life Advice
/Health
Friends On Same Career Path Resent Each Other
DEAR HARRIETTE: My close friend and I are both actively seeking employment in the same city and industry. We both recently lost our jobs at the same company and have been looking for about two months now. We live in New York City and have a shared circle of friends we are networking with and asking around for open positions. It seems to have ...Read more
Student Home From Studying Abroad Misses Whirlwind Romance
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently returned to the United States after studying abroad, and I have a whirlwind of emotions following my departure from the city that became my temporary home. I am sad to leave the friends I made from all over the world, and I'm also leaving behind a guy I connected with.
During my time abroad, I met an incredible guy ...Read more
Lonely Wife Wants To Reconnect With Husband
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I'm drowning in my empty home. My kids have all grown up and moved out, leaving a quiet house behind. My husband seems to be married to his work and spends more time at the office than at home. With everyone gone, all I have left is our puppy. I adore our furry friend, but obviously, he doesn't speak the same language...Read more
Japanese Reader Wants More Information On Tipping
DEAR HARRIETTE: The tipping culture in the United States is puzzling to me as someone from Japan, where tipping is not customary. In Japan, tips can imply that the employer does not provide adequate wages.
After moving to New Orleans, I discovered that tipping was expected for various services, including food, transportation and even coffee. ...Read more
Man Invites Ex To Upcoming Wedding
DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it crossing the line if I attend my ex-boyfriend's wedding? We have known each other for 16 years as neighbors. Despite breaking up three years ago, I recently received an invitation to his upcoming wedding. I am still single since our split, and his impending marriage came as a shock. (Our breakup was fine; we broke up due to...Read more
Teenage Son Upset That Mom Won't Buy Him A Car
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm at odds with my teenage son, and it's beginning to strain our relationship. I've firmly stood by the belief that my son should earn and purchase his own vehicle rather than having it handed to him on a silver platter, as seems to be the norm among many of his peers. I view this as a crucial lesson in responsibility and ...Read more
Boyfriend's Cousin Crosses Boundaries
DEAR HARRIETTE: During spring break, I visited my boyfriend's hometown, where I met his extended family, known to me through his sister's stories. She had mentioned that most of their older male cousins were sneaky and playful. Throughout my stay, my boyfriend's favorite cousin repeatedly tried to flirt with me and asked for my social media ...Read more
Friend Feels Like A Third Wheel
DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself feeling like a third wheel in my friend group, and it's starting to take a toll on my confidence and sense of belonging. While I value the friendships I have with both of my friends individually, whenever we're all together, I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow intruding on their bond. They seem to share ...Read more
Family Makes Insinuations About Child's Dna
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have ginger hair and hazel-brown eyes, while my wife is a brunette with brown eyes. Despite our genetics, our 2-year-old child is dark-haired with blue eyes with a speck of green. My mother and sister cannot stop insinuating that my wife may have cheated on me. I consistently reject this idea and have become increasingly ...Read more
Company Offers Job To Wrong Candidate
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm being offered a job I'm not qualified for. Should I accept it?
During a recent job application event, there was a process that tested each person's comprehension and attention to detail. The person who used the computer before me did not close his tab, revealing his almost perfect result. I didn't think much of it at the ...Read more
Father Asks Newly Employed Child For Money
DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a difficult situation with my father. I recently graduated from college and secured a job, but my father keeps asking me for money. The challenging part is that he didn't contribute financially to my college education, and he hasn't supported me financially since before I turned 18. While I understand that he may...Read more
Friends Struggle To Reconcile After Falling Out
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a huge falling out with one of my best friends. We hadn't spoken for about three months until the other day, when we got together to talk. We shed a lot of tears and spoke our minds about what happened between us, but we didn't find resolution. I walked away feeling like I was being blamed for something that I don't think ...Read more
Woman With New Job Losing Touch With Friends
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my closest friends recently landed a new job that pays significantly better than the positions held by the rest of our friend group. While I'm genuinely happy for her success, her behavior since starting this job has been a cause for concern. Ever since she got this job, she's developed an air of superiority. She ...Read more
Sister Chooses To Spend Time With New Boyfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling a bit lost and hurt lately because my sister, who used to be my closest friend, seems to have disappeared since getting into a relationship with her new boyfriend. She's been spending all of her time with him, leaving little room for our sisterly bond. I am not the only one who feels this way; she has also pushed away...Read more
Sister Contemplates Maid Of Honor Tradition
DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has five women -- four sisters and me -- and it has become a silent tradition that for each sibling's wedding, the next in line serves as the maid of honor.
This year, it's my turn to get married, and, being the fourth sibling, I should be asking my youngest sister. I'm not super-close to my younger sister due to an ...Read more
After Losing Weight, Woman Gets More Attention
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently noticed the stark contrast in how people treat you based on how much you weigh. I used to binge eat excessively, then go days without eating due to overwhelming guilt. Despite this habit, I was overweight.
Having shed 89 pounds since then, I now fall into the category of conventionally skinny, and people now call ...Read more
Aunt Struggles With Financial Burden Of Gift
DEAR HARRIETTE: My "nephew" -- my cousin's son -- is very dear to me. He has autism and sometimes displays violent behavior. Last year, his school recommended that he be transferred to a private institution specializing in educating children with special needs. I am a 23-year-old server, and, as you can imagine, I don't earn much. My nephew's ...Read more
Woman Seeks Clarity About Group Travel Expenses
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an upcoming birthday trip planned in Hawaii, and I'm unsure about the etiquette of asking the people I've invited to contribute toward the cost of the trip. These are mostly close friends and acquaintances from college. Is it considered acceptable to request that guests pay a share for the trip, or is this not a common ...Read more
Daughter Upset When Parents Cut Her Off
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have recently made a decision that's caused a lot of tension in our family, particularly with our 22-year-old daughter. She now has a stable full-time job, and we've decided to cut off her financial support completely. Understandably, she's extremely upset about this. We've always striven to provide for our ...Read more
Newlywed Notices Husband's Attention Drifting
DEAR HARRIETTE: I got married to my husband about seven months ago after dating him for five years, and while I expected some adjustments in our relationship, I've been feeling a significant shift lately. It seems like my husband is pulling away, and it's leaving me feeling confused and insecure. Before we got married, we were so connected and ...Read more