Ask Amy: Son’s apology demand creates distance
I suggest that you travel to see your father immediately in order to try to make peace with him before it is too late. You should suck it up and apologize to his wife (she likely controls access), apologize to him, and do everything possible to reconcile.
Dear Amy: Our youngest son is transgender.
Our daughter refuses to include him in family gatherings unless he goes as his former name and gender.
I have been going along with their separate holidays because my daughter and her husband have young children and they don’t want to explain anything about transgender issues to them.
It is often the only time my husband and I are invited to see the grandchildren.
If I insist my daughter accepts her (now male) sibling, I believe we would no longer be included as well.
I feel like a coward, and it is difficult having separate family holidays.
We’d welcome your thoughts.
– Sad Mother and Grandmother
Dear Sad Mother: Your son can’t “go as” his former name and gender because life isn’t a costume party. He should not be forced to cosplay as a woman in order to be in sister’s living room.
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