ArcaMax

I’m trying to make sense of this.

– Hurt and Confused

Dear Hurt: When “Samuel” approached the bar to denigrate you (as you were minding your own business), you might have responded that if being in another room in a public restaurant was so challenging for him and the group, then perhaps their party should leave.

Given that “Carl” dealt with this social awkwardness by acknowledging it, apologizing, and by blaming Samuel for excluding you, I suggest that you should take him at his word, and not end the friendship, but put it on “pause.”

Carl is obviously allowing his current boyfriend to control the close friendship you and he share; if Samuel is isolating Carl from other people in the friendship and family circle (in addition to you), this is an alarming sign that their relationship is not only lopsided, but possibly abusive.

Don’t completely sever the friendship. Do your best to stay open to Carl; he might need you down the line.

Dear Amy: I’ve been cohabiting with “Sharon” for more than five years. Our romantic relationship has seen its ups and downs (like anyone, I guess), but something that happened recently has caused me to think about breaking up with her.

Sharon’s work history is pretty spotty, and I’ve been available and willing to support our household when she has been in-between jobs.

We don’t “keep score” about our finances, but there is no question that I have been the primary support, not only paying our rent, but also paying for her car payment during several months when she has been stretched very thin.

Honestly I’ve felt proud that I’ve been able to help.

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