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'Outed' uncle wants to babysit his nephew

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

-- Furious

Dear Furious: I'm not sure where you and your sister-in-law got your information, but according to statistics published by the Department of Justice on the National Sex Offender Public Website (nsopw.gov) "An estimated 60 percent of perpetrators of sexual abuse are known to the child but are NOT family members, e.g., family friends, baby sitters, child care providers, neighbors."

I guess it's possible that this woman is a good therapist, but she's a pretty poor family member, and she obviously doesn't give a hoot about insulting both of you.

Given their attitude toward you two, you are correct to be extremely cautious and self-protective regarding the baby. Neither of you should be alone with the child, to avoid accusations. Because your sister-in-law has been so honest with you regarding her monstrous assumption, you should be honest with her about how this affects you, your relationship with them and with the child.

Be prepared, however -- they may not care.

It is a very tall order for you to remain in this child's life, but I do think you should try. Walk this road with your husband -- don't abandon him to deal with this mess alone.

 

Dear Amy: I recently became separated after almost 20 years of marriage. I became active on Facebook, started to communicate with a beautiful lady and we liked each other.

We started a relationship and as we learned about each other, we discovered that we are related. Her mother was my grandfather's sister, so my friend is my father's cousin.

Family members are not OK with this relationship. My mom found out and now she does not speak to me.

What are the rules when dating someone you are related to? I'm not sure if I should keep seeing her.

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