Parents with troubled son worry about disclosure
You can say, "'Steve' is in a boarding school that seems to be a really good fit for him and we're feeling great about his progress. Thanks for asking."
If people continue to ask questions and it makes you uncomfortable, you can say, "You are kind to care, but we're keeping things private. Why do you ask?" You may find that other parents have had similar experiences to yours; if you find other people you can open up to, they might be compassionate and helpful resources.
Dear Amy: I've been divorced for three years. My new boyfriend moved in two years ago. He moved from out of state. He didn't have a job and didn't look for one for almost a year. He has NEVER given me any money toward rent, utilities, internet, etc. He rarely helps with groceries.
In his defense, he used to own a mortgage company, and is now driving a school bus for $18K per year.
He doesn't seem to be trying to get a better job, and he is more than capable. He also claims to have $50K in credit card debt, but in the last year and a half, he has purchased things for himself, and yet he claims he doesn't even have $20/month to give me to go toward the quarterly trash bill.
We didn't discuss finances before he moved in, and I knew that he was coming in without a job, but I'm really starting to resent him.
My family and friends think he's taking advantage of me.
What do you think?
-- Wondering
Dear Wondering: I'm expressing my own surprise that you would welcome someone to move in with you without discussing finances beforehand. And now, after two years, your partner's willingness to contribute to the household is still a mystery to you.
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