Ask Amy: Partner wants to tag along on business trip
Dear Amy: I am an art historian, out of graduate school for about five years. I am now pursuing my Ph.D., also teaching, and am starting to get invited to do presentations and sit on panels at academic conferences.
My problem is that my boyfriend says he would like to come with me to my first conference to, as he says, “Cheer me on.”
I’m uncomfortable with this. Honestly, I’m pretty keyed up about the preparation and I am finding the whole thing nerve-wracking. I can’t imagine also having the added distraction of having my boyfriend there.
He is taking this personally, and I don’t know how to explain to him that it’s not personal – I just don’t want to do it.
Your advice?
– Nervous
Dear Nervous: Adults don’t accompany one another on business trips. With rare exceptions, it is considered unprofessional to bring a “plus-one.”
Your own instincts underscore the reasons for this. When you’re giving a presentation in the morning, the night before is often spent sitting on your bed in a Guest Quarters Suite, mainlining fruit roll-ups and trying to get your PowerPoint to load.
The period after your presentation should be spent accepting your accolades and networking with fellow professionals in your field.
This is indeed nerve-wracking, and the “cheering-on” from a partner should happen remotely.
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