ArcaMax

If these grandparents feel they simply don't know your sons well enough, camping with them would be a great way to get to know them.

Your husband has pointed out this imbalance, and his parents have thrown it in his face.

You two should do your best to promote a relationship between your children and these grandparents by inviting the older couple to spend time with your family.

Also -- I hope these cousins are close. One unfortunate consequence of obvious favoritism is that it interferes with other relationships.

Many reader responses on this topic point out that children are very aware of favoritism, and the effects can permanently damage relationships, as well as create bitter memories.

You can acknowledge this favoritism to your boys, but you should not dwell on it.

Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend, "Tom," for more than four years. Tom and I have different faiths. We are very secure in our interfaith relationship.

My brother "Gary" has made it abundantly clear that he does not support us. He cornered Tom at a family event to express his utter disdain for him and our relationship. This encounter was extremely upsetting. Gary apologized to me (but never to Tom), and with Tom's support I've managed to keep Gary in my life. We are not as close as we once were.

Tom and I want to get married, but Gary has been a roadblock for me. Although Gary is in my life, I do not want him to attend our wedding. I am very nervous about how he would treat Tom and his family. Tom and I want to have a small ceremony where our families will be present. I just know Gary will be crushed to learn that he's not invited.

How can I tell my brother that I love him but do not want him to be a part of this life event?

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