ArcaMax

I love this man, but I'm torn. I want to repair the breach of trust, but I don't want to be made a fool. Advice, please? -- Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed: Following is a list of reasons why a person in a committed cohabiting relationship would legitimately create "the facade of a single life": Oops -- there are none.

Lucky him -- he became entangled with another woman who is obnoxious, creepy and tips the scales toward "Fatal Attraction." Her behavior seems to have eclipsed his behavior. And so now you are blaming her and excusing him.

You seem to care the most about whether your boyfriend had sex with this other person. You obviously have a great deal invested in this relationship, and you can choose to believe him in order to stay in it, but repairing the broken trust is not your job -- it's his.

I hope you develop your own life, either at this new location or elsewhere. Waiting for your guy to come home after his long workdays and after-work partying doesn't seem like much of a life for you.

Dear Amy: I have been working long distance with a male co-worker for the past three years.

We started talking after both of our relationships ended two years ago. We talk daily via IM, email, text or phone.

For the last year our communication has not been strictly business. He comes up to a line with me, but won't cross it in a close personal way.

This last holiday weekend he said that he doesn't have a life, and I said, "Neither do I." I thought he was going to ask me to come and see him, but he didn't.

The last time I saw him was a few months ago, when I had to work with someone else in the office. Later he said he thought we would be spending time together, but he didn't make a move.

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