Woman confused by man's attempt to court her
DEAR AMY: I've been "seeing" this guy for three months. He's 36. I'm 21.
We had a first kiss several weeks after starting to go out.
He always takes me out to dinner (insists on paying every time), and we go on dates -- like bike riding and going to the park.
Last Friday he invited me to a bar/arcade and I met his friends.
We all hit it off and it was a great night. The following day, Saturday morning, he asked me to have breakfast with him at a nice restaurant. The day after that, on Sunday, he asked me to a bike ride and dinner. I happily agreed.
We ate takeout and had a nice night staying in and watching TV. Afterward he told me he didn't want me to leave, so I spent the night. We cuddled for a bit and then we fell asleep (opposite sides of the bed). He didn't try to be intimate with me.
This is the second time we've spent the night together and he hasn't tried to make a move on me.
Is he not sexually attracted to me? Or maybe he wants to take things slow? I'm so confused! What do you think? -- Confused
DEAR CONFUSED: This guy you're seeing seems to be trying to court, not confuse you. Back in the day, men sometimes conducted dating relationships in this way. Spending quality time together was considered a respectful prerequisite to sex. It was also a different way of getting to know a person -- a way that did not involve hooking up first and learning surnames later.
You are 15 years younger than he. In dating terms, you are in different generations -- when he was your age, Tinder was something you started a fire with. A "hook up" involved an actual hook.
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