Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Congregant finds pastor on dating app
Dear Eric: I saw my pastor on a dating app. This is mostly fine, because he is single and hasn’t taken a vow of chastity (that I know of). He even said in his profile that he leads a faith community. We matched and I messaged something silly. I guess he didn’t remember who I was because he messaged back and we got to talking.
I was curious ...Read more
Newly Dating Couple Has Different Hobbies
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm dating someone new, but we're having a hard time finding things we want to do together. I don't mean to sound posh, but I do enjoy getting dressed up and going to shows, nice dinners, live performances and more. The guy I'm dating is quite different from me. Much of his life revolves around health, fitness and training. He ...Read more
Reader Comes For The Queen, Misses
DEAR MISS MANNERS: You are a very stupid person if you truly believe that wearing white shoes after Labor Day is a breach of "etiquette." It really doesn't matter what color your shoes are, especially after a specific date or time. It is completely appalling that anyone would live by these rules you so vigorously advocate for.
I do believe that...Read more
Leave Your Worries for Tomorrow
Dear Readers: Wishing you all a very happy Labor Day. The expectation of this holiday is to take the day off, put our feet up and enjoy the last stretch of summer.
How many of you are actually able to take the time to reset and rest today?
We say we are going to relax, and then we answer a few emails. We clean the kitchen. We run to the ...Read more
Boyfriend Hopes To Exclude Woman's Son From Living Arrangement
DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mother of an 18-year-old son with autism. I have known "Cliff" for more than 20 years. We live on opposite coasts. I want to be with him and he with me, though he doesn't want my son to live with us at this time. He wants it to be just the two of us for a while. Abby, my son is not able to live on his own. Do you have any...Read more
Slipping On Enough
Years ago, during the hot months in the desert, I adopted a short house dress style that I change into when I come home from work. I have probably about six that I rotate, but the original is old. It's old enough that a picture of my son and me when he was a baby included that dress. He's about to turn 11. I still wear that dress.
It is not ...Read more
Asking Eric: Son rejects mother’s funeral wishes
Dear Eric: Because I am getting older (80 this year), my husband and I, who have been attending funerals more frequently lately, have begun discussing our funeral/burial wishes.
We have shared some of these with our three married sons. The oldest seems to think that the funeral is for those remaining, and I should not have much to say about it....Read more
The Smart Way to Splurge on Travel
Dear Annie: I travel fairly often from Miami to Europe and California, and lately I've been thinking I need to change the way I do it. I'm at the point where I'd honestly rather take fewer trips and enjoy them more than squeeze myself into economy for hours just to save money.
I'd love to fly business class about five times a year and maybe ...Read more
Antisocial Husband Ruins All The Fun
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for eight years. For the most part, we are happy, but there is one thing that upsets me. He doesn't like to have people over for social events. In fact, I can't get him to participate in any social outing without him moaning and complaining the entire time.
I enjoy getting together with friends and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Family fears causing offense with conversation about race
Dear Eric: My kids, ages 15, 18 and 23, were having a discussion about post-World War II racial discrimination while we were having dinner in an IKEA cafeteria. There was a Black family sitting directly behind us. I was concerned about them saying the words “Black people,” because I was afraid that the family might overhear the term out of ...Read more
Couple With Opposite Schedules Needs More Time Together
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I are struggling to make time for each other. He started a new career as a professional bodyguard a few months back, so his schedule is now the opposite of mine. He works with a lot of entertainers and athletes, which leads to him working mostly at night and nearly all weekend. I, on the other hand, work a ...Read more
Man Determined To Think The Worst Of Entire Country
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was hiking in a beautiful country that proclaims itself more polite than the U.S. On a "leashed dogs only" hiking trail, two local women approached with an unleashed dog that tried to eat my only sandwich.
I said, "Ladies, I don't know if you're aware, but there's a leash law in this park." (There's a huge sign at the ...Read more
Is Her Drinking My Business?
Dear Annie: I'm 74 and just moved in with my younger sister. Since I've been here, I've noticed she's drinking more than I remember her drinking before, close to a bottle of wine nearly every night. She otherwise seems fine. She's still doing her gardening, cooking meals for herself and meeting up with friends.
But still -- this can't be good...Read more
Son Feels Shunned By Father Over Physical Appearance
DEAR ABBY: I am a 62-year-old man. I was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate. Growing up, I had several surgeries and much dental work to improve my appearance. I had wonderful friends who never teased me about it.
Now, looking back at my childhood, I realize that my father hated me because of the way I looked when I was born. He has never ...Read more
Asking Eric: Ex-husband lets brand-new girlfriend babysit son
Dear Eric: My ex-husband has begun a relationship with a woman to whom he’s recently introduced our 10-year-old son. He shared via a very long-winded yet somehow vague text that they would be meeting during the two weeks our son was spending with him over the summer break.
Two days after this meeting, he texts again to say that his work ...Read more
New Friend Hits On Taken Man At The Club
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently tried to merge separate friends for an outing, and it failed terribly. I invited a new friend of mine to go out with my girlfriends and me to a Latin club that we often frequent. At first, everyone was having a great time, and my girlfriends couldn't stop talking about how cool my new friend was and how much everyone ...Read more
Photos Reflect The Moment -- For Better Or Worse
DEAR MISS MANNERS: New partners should not be in the family pictures. If the relationships don't last, it ruins the pictures. Believe me, I learned this the hard way.
I know, others may get divorced, etc. but I think the one-year rule is a good one.
GENTLE READER: Sure. But Miss Manners thought the point of taking pictures was to get a time ...Read more
Biting That Hand That Feeds Him
Dear Annie: For the 23 years I've been married, I've cooked dinner for my husband nearly every night. He has no idea how much planning, shopping and cleanup goes into it. I think he thinks the food just appears.
Recently, he's turned critical about nearly every meal: The chicken's too dry, the vegetables are too salty. I've told him how ...Read more
Bartender Mom Pretends She's Younger And Childless
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Evan," and his mother, "Mitzi," tell people they are siblings. I love my boyfriend, but I don't feel comfortable lying for him, and I wish he wouldn't lie for his mother. Evan is in his early 30s. His mother is in her early 50s, though she tells people she is 10 years younger.
Mitzi has worked in the hospitality ...Read more
Asking Eric: Others often take advantage of generous giver
Dear Eric: I am a giver. It has always been ingrained in my personality. I give and help family, friends, neighbors, perfect strangers. I am always volunteering to help in any way I can. This causes people to take advantage of me.
I am always giving and doing more for them than they do for me. When I need something, so-called friends are seldom...Read more
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