ArcaMax

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

DEAR MISS MANNERS: To settle a debate: After an election has been "called," which candidate properly phones the other? The winner or the loser, and why?

I say it's like a tennis match, in which the winner graciously makes the first move to contact the other side, so as not to appear arrogant.

My colleague counters that to do so rubs salt in ...Read more

Dear Annie: I'm the mother of a 14-year-old daughter, and lately TikTok has me genuinely frightened.

At first, I thought it was mostly dancing, makeup tutorials and funny videos. But over time, I started hearing about dangerous "challenges," extreme dieting advice, risky stunts and videos that encourage kids to do things they would never have...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I am 39 and have been with my husband for 20 years. We got together when we were young, and our two kids are almost grown. Early in our relationship, he cheated on me several times. I was able to move past that for the most part. We have a solid relationship and life now. A few of my ex-boyfriends have reached out to me over the last ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: This is our second year to host my husband's family for Thanksgiving. Last year, my brother-in-law and his wife extended our invitation to her parents, her brother and his daughter -- members of her extended family who I have met a few times, but don't know well.

I made room for them, but I would prefer to not have people I ...Read more

Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for a little over 50 years, and lately I find myself wondering whether I am becoming too sensitive or whether something in our marriage has changed.

More and more, I feel as though my feelings, needs and wishes are being overlooked. If I speak up about something that bothers me, especially if it ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are friendly with another couple, "Matt" and "Mara." They have two young children, one of whom is autistic. We have five children, so we understand the daily challenges of parenting.

My husband and Matt have been friends since preschool. I met Mara soon after she and Matt started dating. We weren't that close until ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My oldest child recently moved out, and I'm finding the adjustment harder than I expected. I'm proud of him for taking this step toward independence. This is what I've spent years preparing him to do, but now that it has happened, I'm realizing that I needed some preparation, too.

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm registering a vote to ABANDON MANNERS in a certain context.

Lately telemarketers have a new strategy: They just keep talking without letting you get a word in. They'll even keep asking the same questions, even if you choose not to answer them.

I hung up on one of them yesterday, but I'm feeling bad that A. I didn't hold ...Read more

Dear Annie: I recently had another unpleasant encounter with my 13-year-old granddaughter, and this time we both ended up yelling. What began as a simple conversation quickly turned into hateful answers, a bad attitude and her refusal to speak to me in a respectful or pleasant way.

Unfortunately, this has become a pattern. I have tried to be ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a beautiful 30-year-old son, "Caleb," who's married, employed and happy. We have a close relationship, and he thinks Mom and Dad (married 35 years) are awesome. He was also close to his "perfect" grandma, who died recently. He adored her, and she loved and spoiled him.

What he doesn't know is Grandma was a horrific...Read more

Dear Annie: I'm hoping you might have some advice for me about how to meet people and make new friends as an adult. I'm 40, and I've been depressed for about a year. I was seeing a therapist for almost a year, but have recently given up on him. We tried different things, but I still feel pretty stuck and alone. I've tried going out by myself, ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My next-door neighbor, "Dee," has a granddaughter, "Sarah." A year ago, I was friendly with Sarah, but months later, she became disrespectful. She wouldn't listen when I asked her not to ring my doorbell for no reason or tease my cats. I told Dee, and she said she would try to talk to her. Dee said she can't make Sarah mind at times. ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother-in-law got caught cheating on his wife, and my husband is defending his brother's actions. This has made me question my husband's values. If he is defending his brother for cheating on his wife, what's stopping him from cheating on me and thinking that there is nothing wrong with that? I understand that this is his ...Read more