ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been going out with a guy for a few months. We aren't anything official yet, but my birthday is coming up, and he asked me what I want for my birthday. I said I wanted a surprise. When I said "surprise," I was thinking that he would take me to a cute restaurant or ask me what I've been wanting to do around New York City, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received a wedding invitation for a wedding from my husband's nephew and bride-to-be. The attire for the occasion is described as: "black tie optional. Elegant, coastal chic. We ask that men wear jackets."

It is clear what my husband should wear, but do you have a suggestion for me to fulfill "elegant, coastal chic"? The ...Read more

Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for over 50 years. While we are physically unable to have sexual relations due to several health factors, I'm not missing it. Why? Because he has terrible hygiene practices and the biggest is not brushing his teeth enough. He has horrible halitosis now.

I can barely manage to travel short distances ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I am living in total dysfunction with my daughter (32) and husband (75). I am retired and going on 76. My daughter will not work and is controlling my life. She has OCD and refuses medication. It's so bad that she has become completely dependent on me. She makes me drive her and yells at me while I do. If she doesn't get her way, she ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went to the bank with my dad to finally separate our accounts. He opened my account for me when I was in high school, and now that I'm a working professional, I felt it was time to have full independence. During the process, the teller shared details about my account balance in front of him, which made me uncomfortable...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I enjoy going out with my women friends for lunch (just two of us). It is wonderful to get away from my house and my husband.

But recently, two of my friends have suggested that their husbands, and mine, join us. I hate this idea because I don't care to be around the husbands, and it would severely limit our conversation (I'...Read more

Dear Annie: My mom and I have always had a weird relationship. Throughout my childhood, I always considered us close, even when she moved hours away to the other side of the state when I was in middle school. We would talk regularly, and I would go see her for summer and winter breaks. When I graduated high school, I happily made the move to ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 31 years. We have a great marriage. We work from home, so we spend pretty much every minute together and enjoy each other's company so much that it isn't an issue. That said, I will also share that I'm a basement musician. It's my hobby. I play guitar and sing. In the past, I have appeared in bands as ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: During July 4th weekend, my 16-year-old daughter went up to her best friend's cabin. I was under the impression that her parents were going to drive my daughter and her friend there since it's a four-hour drive and both girls have had their licenses for only a few months. Instead, my daughter's friend drove her up to the cabin. ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As women, it is not our job to salvage a man's ego when he cannot take "no" for an answer. Honestly, we need to make this point, and loudly: NO MEANS NO. If someone asks you on a date, it is perfectly OK to say, "That's very nice of you, but no, thank you."

It is then up to the other person to accept that answer -- not to ...Read more

Dear Annie: Recently, I had a major social misstep that has essentially pushed one of my best friends out of my life. During the week of my birthday, I had a mid-30s crisis; a string of bad memories from dating and bad luck with women hit me and put me in a very emotionally weakened state of mind. In front of this friend, I was reduced to what ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I moved into my apartment four months ago. While my sister, her son and I were moving things in, my new next-door neighbor introduced herself. She has since become intrusive. I am an introvert, and she knocks on my door wanting everything from plastic bags to cigarettes and alcohol. Every day since I moved here, she has been asking ...Read more

The following are classic definitions of success. Number them 1 to 10 -- No. 1 being the most important to you. And do feel free to add some of your own!

--Money.

--Job satisfaction.

--Self-expression.

--Helping others.

--Fame.

--Prestige.

--Personal fulfillment.

--Power.

--Comfort.

--Influence.

You'll notice that some of these are ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I consider myself to be a social person. I recently moved to a more rural area in an attempt to experience a new way of living. I think there's value in all different types of lifestyles, even those that are often seen as less glamorous. My new neighbors have made this town feel like home within a matter of weeks. Although it has...Read more