ArcaMax

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I want to start a conversation with a stranger -- say we're next to each other on an airplane -- I might comment on the book they're reading. Similarly, is it OK if I comment on their tattoo?

Especially if it's a tattoo of a name or other words, it seems like it was put there so people could read it.

GENTLE READER: You ...Read more

Dear Annie: Every year, as soon as October rolls around, my husband and I start having the same argument: Whose family gets us for Thanksgiving?

We've been married for 12 years and have two children, ages 7 and 10. Both sets of grandparents live about an hour away, and both families expect us to spend Thanksgiving with them.

My mother starts...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I was sexually assaulted at work about 20 years ago. I went through an off-and-on cycle with that supervisor for almost a year. He used many different tactics: isolating me, befriending me, apologizing insincerely, stating that he was a pillar of the community and no one would believe it, and even telling me I hadn't meant it when I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My life partner and I are blessed to have a tight-knit family and a small group of close friends. We have a nice, modest home and we are pleased to host the above on holidays.

We have twice run into issues with our sewer lines being plugged. On both occasions, the technicians have pulled out "flushable" wipes from the system....Read more

Dear Annie: My in-laws are in their mid-80s, and for most of their lives, they appeared to be quite wealthy. They lived in beautiful homes, entertained lavishly and traveled frequently. They were successful in real estate and should have been financially comfortable in retirement.

Over the years, extravagant spending, poor investments and ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law lives across the country. For years, we shipped each other's children Christmas gifts. A few years ago, she went through a difficult divorce and has since stopped sending gifts. While we didn't discuss it, I figured it was a financial strain, which is understandable.

My issue is that we continued to send her children...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: At our neighborhood dinners, there seems to be a tense atmosphere of Republicans against Democrats. Because of this atmosphere, I have never joined in the conversations about politics because I am trying to stay neutral. Moreover, I was taught as a child not to talk about politics, religion or money. At one of these dinners, the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I try to be polite and patient when dealing with so-called customer service reps; I swear I do. I've listened to their endlessly repeated robo messages with no choices that fit my problem, their screeching hold-music, and their endless requests for the same information.

If I ever get to a human being, they say they'll put me ...Read more

Dear Annie: For years, I've been the person my family turns to whenever they need help. Now, after everything I've done for them, I'm the one they've turned against.

During the pandemic, my husband and I moved into my elderly parents' home to help care for my seriously ill mother. I'm a healthcare professional, and whenever she was ...Read more

DEAR READERS: The mailbox was bursting with responses to the Oct. 9 letter from Frustrated Neighbor, whose 94-year-old neighbor is bedridden and nominally cared for by a woman who also holds his power of attorney. I'll let the readers speak for themselves:

"Red flags everywhere! The neighbor says the caregiver has his POA, which means she can ...Read more

My dad died at 49. I was 23.

He never wanted me to work with my hands. I've spent most of my patchwork of a career working with my mind. I'm not sure either side gets away without scars. It's perhaps a conversation we could have had over a beer. I never did have a beer and a conversation with him. It might have been more honest.

But death ...Read more

Dear Annie: My daughter is getting married soon, and what should be a joyous occasion has become a source of heartache.

Her father and I have been separated for three years. Although he has repeatedly said he would go to counseling to work on our marriage, he has never followed through.

I recently learned that his new girlfriend has been ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: How much should a neighborhood do to keep up a vacant house? About 15 years ago, a couple in their 50s moved into the end of my cul-de-sac. Their two children were out of college; the son lived elsewhere, and the daughter lived with them.

Almost two years ago, the dad died suddenly. The mom moved out of state with relatives. The ...Read more