DENVER — Anybody got Drew Brees’ number?

Kidding! Sort of.

“He’s a first-rounder, drafted by Sean Payton,” Bubby Brister, the former Broncos quarterback, texted me Tuesday morning when I asked about Bo Nix’s miserable Monday night in Kansas City. “He has a great team around him and some of the best fans in the league.”

Mind you, some of those “best fans” are getting Bubby Blistered on social media right now. The buzzards on Xwitter came circling after Nix threw for just 131 yards while suffering four sacks, three fumbles, two turnovers and an interception, the kind of numbers that led to a 31-10 season-opening loss to the Chiefs.

While Nix haters from Bangor to Burbank — OVERRATED! RAG ARM! NOT MY QB! — can’t stop pushing the “send” button, Brister says Broncos Country should wait before pushing the “panic” one.

“As Sean Payton would say, everybody has to do their job!” offered Bubby, who led the Broncos to one of their most fun Monday night outings in Kansas City, a 30-7 win in November 1998 during which Brister bootlegged for a 38-yard TD run. “And do their job better than last night. Period.”

Yes, Nix was a disaster, especially with ball placement. But that dumpster fire had help fanning the flames. The offensive line, from snaps to protection, struggled to match its preseason hype. When Nix’s wideouts weren’t dropping balls, they were struggling to get any kind of separation from Kansas City defenders.

Nix has never had the prototype “bazooka” release that scouts love, and continues to be reluctant to throw anything across the middle of the field. Yet, like his coach, No. 10 does better work in October and November than over the first three weeks of the regular season.

Over his career, Nix is now 24-11 lifetime as a Broncos starter in the regular season, but that record’s just 4-5 in September contests. His lifetime September touchdown-to-interception ratio is 9-9. His career September passer rating is 74.6, the lowest of any regular-season month and more than 15 points lower than his career mark (90.0).

But even for an opener, Nix’s sloppiness was un-Bo-lievable, his carelessness with the ball alarming, given the stage. He threw a pick into double coverage on his first series. With 35 seconds left in the third quarter, down 24-10 at his own 34, he let the ball squirt free, and the Chiefs recovered to ice the evening.

“We know this is not going to be the whole season for us,” Nix told reporters Monday.

It’s not, and there’s a reason Payton is Mr. October. Marathon, not a sprint.

That said, when the pistol fired to start the 2026 AFC West 5K, the Chiefs reached over and gave Nix a wedgie that could be heard all the way to Leavenworth.

“5-12,” one longtime Broncos season ticket holder texted me Monday night.

“Boy, do you have a lot to write about!” texted another.

On an evening when Patrick Mahomes looked painfully average (15 for 27 passing, 184 yards), that should’ve mattered. It didn’t, because the Broncos’ tackling, new offensive play-caller Davis Webb and Nix were infinitely worse.

The Chiefs came out as if they were itching for a fight. The Broncos came out as if they were itching for a nap after a late lunch at Zarda. Vance Joseph’s defense missed 28 tackles, per Next Gen Stats. The Chiefs’ new tailback, ex-Michigan State star Kenneth Walker III, knifed through the Broncos like they were Rutgers or Purdue. Kansas City resembled a hungry, motivated Super Bowl contender, while the Broncos came off as disinterested, entitled and soft. Run it back got run the heck over.

But besides the defense, the biggest disappointment was the debut of the Bo & Davis Show, the duo billed as the NFL’s next hot play-caller/QB combo.

Only instead of Shanny and Purdy, or Johnson and Caleb, we got Laurel and Hardy.

While Chiefs defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo was playing chess, Webb appeared to be playing Block Blast on his phone. On one third-and-1 late in the first half, game tied at 7-7, instead of running the ball, the first-year Broncos offensive coordinator trotted out an empty backfield — an empty backfield that had a fullback lined up at wide receiver. While down two TDs, the Broncos repeatedly let the play clock tick down to 5 seconds or fewer before snapping the ball.

“Nasty wake-up call,” Nix said later.

More like a walking nightmare. The tone for the evening was set on the Broncos’ first drop back, as Nix, Captain Elusive, wound up getting sacked. On third-and-11, he got smoked. Nix felt heat in the pocket. That wasn’t new. He ducked and weaved. Also not new. But the next part was: No. 10 fired off a semi-wounded duck that was easily picked off by Chiefs rookie cornerback Mansoor Delane.

“We know we have to be better,” Nix told reporters. “There (are) a lot of guys in that locker room that are going to take ownership and going to be better.

“And it starts with me. It starts with our offense, and we’re going to be better. And we have to … we don’t have a choice.”

Not anymore. Not considering some of the Looney Tunes whispers that have trickled out from behind Payton’s orange and blue curtain. The buzz a few months ago was how the Broncos almost turned over the keys to Bill Belichick. The buzz before kickoff was an ESPN report that Broncos coaches reached out to the retired Brees, now 47, this past January after Nix broke his ankle, just to see if the old dog had any hunt left.

After that?

Woof.

“Hard to win on the road, especially on Monday night,” noted Brister, who still managed to do both in his salad days. “The Chiefs played really well on both sides of the ball.

“I think Bo will be fine. One game doesn’t make a season.”

Sure doesn’t. But it can leave one hell of a scar.

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