Politics, Moderate



Must I glue my eyes to the TV?

Danny Tyree on

Next are the shows where characters perfectly capable of speaking English suddenly go all Tower of Babel and subject us to a mind-numbing string of don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it subtitles. Perhaps the writers are practicing for their own travels. (“Where is the library? Do they have cocaine in the library?”)

Most annoying is the unheralded shift to characters engaging in a rapid-fire texting marathon, with pivotal messages that are readable only with an IMAX home theater.

Yes, texting is ubiquitous in 21st-century society and writers are trying to “keep it real.” But griping about the skyrocketing cost of streaming service subscriptions is ubiquitous in 21st-century society as well, but no one feels compelled to put those sentiments into the mouth of a dopey dad or hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold. Weird.

Also, the attempt to keep programs cutting-edge and relevant will seem merely quaint in a few years, when we all have brain implants and communicate telepathically. (“What are they doing in this old show?” “I think they called it texting …on an intelligent-phone. She’s probably inviting her friends to buy Pet Rocks and churn butter.”)

I know all the writers, actors, directors, set designers and wardrobe coordinators think there is a social contract that we are obligated to keep jumbo-size Visine handy and scrutinize every blankety-blank frame of every program, but that “all or nothing” volley against multitasking may push more viewers to turn off the set and focus on their pets, reading or getting a weekly colonoscopy.

What’s a good compromise? Maybe programs could have a warning siren when there is about to be a jarring change from a run-of-the-mill conversation. Not an Amber Alert, but more of a Pretentious Artiste Alert.


(We need a separate warning for “Stop sorting your grandmother’s recipe cards! This inane chitchat will be interrupted by your favorite character getting creamed by a hit-and-run driver. Again.”)

I wish my father was here to help. He probably even knew “Bah, humbug!” in Spanish.


Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”

Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com




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