Politics, Moderate

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Politics

Must I glue my eyes to the TV?

Danny Tyree on

Next are the shows where characters perfectly capable of speaking English suddenly go all Tower of Babel and subject us to a mind-numbing string of don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it subtitles. Perhaps the writers are practicing for their own travels. (“Where is the library? Do they have cocaine in the library?”)

Most annoying is the unheralded shift to characters engaging in a rapid-fire texting marathon, with pivotal messages that are readable only with an IMAX home theater.

Yes, texting is ubiquitous in 21st-century society and writers are trying to “keep it real.” But griping about the skyrocketing cost of streaming service subscriptions is ubiquitous in 21st-century society as well, but no one feels compelled to put those sentiments into the mouth of a dopey dad or hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold. Weird.

Also, the attempt to keep programs cutting-edge and relevant will seem merely quaint in a few years, when we all have brain implants and communicate telepathically. (“What are they doing in this old show?” “I think they called it texting …on an intelligent-phone. She’s probably inviting her friends to buy Pet Rocks and churn butter.”)

I know all the writers, actors, directors, set designers and wardrobe coordinators think there is a social contract that we are obligated to keep jumbo-size Visine handy and scrutinize every blankety-blank frame of every program, but that “all or nothing” volley against multitasking may push more viewers to turn off the set and focus on their pets, reading or getting a weekly colonoscopy.

What’s a good compromise? Maybe programs could have a warning siren when there is about to be a jarring change from a run-of-the-mill conversation. Not an Amber Alert, but more of a Pretentious Artiste Alert.

 

(We need a separate warning for “Stop sorting your grandmother’s recipe cards! This inane chitchat will be interrupted by your favorite character getting creamed by a hit-and-run driver. Again.”)

I wish my father was here to help. He probably even knew “Bah, humbug!” in Spanish.

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Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”


Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com

 

 

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