Will Ozempic chew up the food industry?
Tyrades! by Danny Tyree
“Are ya haaawngry?”
In the 1990s, that question by the late Harold Rowland became a running gag after church every Sunday, as he inquired where I, my wife and my parents would be eating.
In the future, many people may answer “Are ya haaawngry?” with a shrug and a muffled “Meh.”
Investors and food-industry executives are grinding their teeth over anti-diabetic drugs such as Ozempic and Wegovy. The drugs are being used off-label for weight loss and appetite suppression, and so far they seem to be nibbling away at the sales of salty, fatty, sugary foods (a.k.a. “The Foods that Beat Watercress Sandwiches Up After School”).
A 17-member team at the Morgan Stanley financial services company predicts that in 10 years seven percent of Americans will be using such medicines and consuming 20 percent fewer calories (and begging financial services companies to put them out of their misery with a well-placed Roth IRA upside the head).
Believe me, I know there’s a problem. My once-youthful metabolism has deteriorated from Bottomless Pit to “your thighs just absorbed that lasagna at the next table.”
Unhealthy dietary choices (and scarfing down massive amounts of edibles without even thinking about it) have consequences. Too many people face stroke, heart attack, dialysis or amputation. There’s only a slight nuance between “body positivity movement” and “I’m positive the body will (mostly) fit in the casket.” I understand.
The balancing act of living a long life and a happy life is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma wrapped in bacon. Mmm…bacon.
But I’m not sure we can handle the social upheaval of pill-popping, neutered snacks and slavish portion control.
Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com