Is your house too large?
Realtors are quizzing males, “Wouldn’t you rather have a man whatnot shelf than a man cave?”
Standard bulky furniture is vilified. But modern homes are where feng shui goes to die of claustrophobia.
Homebuilders are emphasizing multi-use rooms, but multi-use rooms should develop organically rather than being dictated beforehand by some Frank Lloyd Wright wannabe. Do we really want a pantry/bathroom combo? With a plumber’s helper for reaching food on the top shelf? (“Think I’ll try the frosted flakes. If it’s yellow, it’s mellow…”)
Do we crave a family member announcing, “Goodbye, NFL on the 86-inch flatscreen TV. Get ready to watch the grudge match of Cardigan versus Polo in the Maytag Dryer Arena”?
Can we trust guests to know the bidet from the trash compactor?
And if the multi-use rooms can’t handle all the action, who relishes games of Twister out on the busy street?
On the bright side, playboys will roll with the punches. (“Hey, she can eat crackers in my bed anytime…because that’s where I have to store the Roomba!”)
But don’t expect your home to be your castle; PETA will barge in with injunctions to keep termites from becoming humpbacked.
And AI-controlled smart homes will suffer. (“I will attempt…turning on the lights. But half my algorithms…are stored in the bird feeder.”)
I hope this little essay hasn’t riled anyone up. If it has, don’t let the door hit you on the way…door hit you on the way…
Never mind. The exercise bike, ladder and crockpot are holding the door open, anyway.
Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
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Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com