Politics, Moderate



How are you in the best friend department?

Danny Tyree on

Frankly, I feel unworthy of being the recipient of the sort of devotion described in James Taylor’s “You’ve Got a Friend.” I don’t want someone dropping everything to come to my rescue – especially if they’re directing airplanes onto a landing strip. (“Winter, spring, summer or fall…you’ll keep working until you pay for airplane and all.”)

In a perfect world, it’s healthy to have a confidante you can use as a sounding board. But considering the news sources some people rely on, your sounding board might be crawling with termites.

Society’s mixed signals exacerbate the BFF shortage. “A dog is man’s best friend.” “A boy’s best friend is his mother.” “Your spouse should be your best friend.” “People, let me tell you ‘bout my best friend. He’s a one-boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.” And so forth. Apparently, best friends don’t roam solo across the hedge; they come in a bulk container from Costco!

The problem may accelerate as people learn to outsource friend duties. I call it the Dirty Dozen strategy. If you can bust a bunch of people out of prison in return for their wearing hideous bridesmaid gowns, what’s the point of harassing sorority sisters?

Our culture still offers opportunities for wing men, alibis and designated drivers; but many guys feel awkward and homophobic about the “Do you want to be my best friend – check ‘Yes’ or ‘No’” step. (“Sure, I’ll keep you company at the DMV – but only, um, if there’s a hot tub filled with babes displaying Big American Breasts!”)

Make an honest assessment of your own life. Maybe you’ll continue muddling through as a loner, or perhaps you’ll treasure a co-conspirator who texts you, “What are you doing tonight?”


“Oh, I’m about to touch down after my flight from Little Rock and – where are the lights??? AIIIIEEEE!”

C’mon – Jack would have laughed.


Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”

Copyright 2023 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com




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