Don’t you just love laundry day?

Danny Tyree on Mar 2, 2022

No matter how expertly you position the clothes basket, you’ll have E.D. problems. And by E.D. I mean “escaping drawers.” (Grow up!) Open the dryer door and nice, clean underwear will turn somersaults in a death-dive for the floor.

It’s weird that we used to call underwear “unmentionables.” I mention them quite often. (“Dirty razzin frazzin…”)

My mother does not own a clothes dryer, preferring to go “old school” with an outdoor clothesline. (Ironic that the people who hated school are the ones who wind up clinging to “old school” behavior. But I digress.) Yeah, she saves some electricity, but having seen tomcats marking their territory on perky percales, I would be willing to fly a kite in a thunderstorm to keep the clothes dryer going.

Don’t get me started on opportunistic birds scouting your neighborhood. (“Whoa! Victoria’s Secret is the Mercedes Benz of lingerie! Anybody need a pit stop?”)

Forgive the rant. But nothing gets your panties in a wad like getting your panties in a wad.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”