Is Halloween Cursed This Year?

Danny Tyree on Oct 20, 2021

Don’t even get me started on how this is affecting the denizens of the supernatural world.

Imagine a world where exorcists are stymied by eviction moratoriums and where you can’t even entice an angry mob of villagers to chase Frankenstein’s Monster without a generous signing bonus.

Imagine a world where supply-chain issues make witches substitute paper cauldrons, where Dracula turns off the TV because of the constant drumbeat of stories about emerging garlic variants, where Igor never knows if the Dungeon-DoorDash driver will hump it and arrive on time, where the Headless Horseman is constantly berating himself. (“Dummy! Carve the jack-o’-lantern before putting the mask on it next time.”)

Ah, but this too shall pass.

I just hope that after it passes it goes on to its final reward instead of hovering around and haunting us.

I want to be able to splurge and buy my Sexy Newspaper Columnist costume next year.

What? There won’t be any in 2022? Or this year? Or last year? Or the year before…?

That’s a dead giveaway I need a hearse for my self-esteem.

I can push it if it’s out of gas.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”