Diagnosis: Murder
You're the sentence doctor. Each of these sentences suffers from faulty syntax, wordiness, passivity, poor word choices and/or awkward phrasing. Examine each ailing sentence, make a diagnosis and rewrite it back to health:
No. 1: George had a plan for getting an agreement.
No. 2: Equality was rendered a fatal blow by the court.
No. 3: Some pesticides were banned because of Rachel Carson's book.
No. 4: The jury decided that Nelson was not guilty nor were any of his siblings.
No. 5: By the year 2000, there were only 10,000 high-tech companies in contrast to only 1,000 such companies in existence in 1990.
No. 6: In a break with the past, volunteers who joined the military during the 1990s were likely to be married, have a family and be older than their counterparts who entered the armed services in the past.
No. 7: An impact of the new market economy on farmers between 1815 and 1850 was that farmers specialized in only one or two crops to sell.
No. 8: Ralph Nader wrote a book; then Congress required seat belts.
No. 9: An effective supervisor takes into account the professional growth of employees and their personal growth as well.
Diagnoses and prescriptions for recovery:
No. 1: Diagnosis: Profound weakness of the verb "had." Rx: George offered a plan for reaching an agreement.
No. 2: Diagnosis: Aggravated passivity of the larynx. Rx: The court rendered a fatal blow to equality.
No. 3: Diagnosis: Debilitating passivity and infection of the syntax. Rx: Influenced by Rachel's Carson's book, the government banned some pesticides.
No. 4: Diagnosis: Chronic occlusion of the compound subject. Rx: The jury found Nelson and all his siblings not guilty.
No. 5: Diagnosis: Advanced convolution of the sentence. Rx: During the 1990s, the number of high-tech companies grew from 1,000 to 10,000.
No. 6: Diagnosis: Sclerotic agglutination of the posterior clause. Rx: Volunteers who joined the military during the 1990s were older than volunteers in previous decades and more likely than their predecessors to be married and have a family.
No. 7: Diagnosis: Acute enlargement of the syntactical viscera. Rx: The emergence of the market economy between 1815 and 1850 led farmers to specialize in only one or two crops.
No. 8: Diagnosis: Deficient causality syndrome. Rx: Ralph Nader's book persuaded Congress to require seat belts.
No. 9: Diagnosis: Wordiness and repetition syndrome. Rx: An effective supervisor considers employees' professional and personal growth.
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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
Copyright 2026 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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