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Ask Mr. Dad: Welcome to the sandwich generation

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: My elderly father can't take care of himself any longer and has just moved in with us. My four-year old is complaining that I'm spending more time with my dad than with her, and my 16-year old is complaining about all the extra responsibilities he's had to take on. And, of course, my husband is feeling neglected too. I think I'm ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: Water: The miracle cure from your tap

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: This summer is shaping up to be a hot one and I'm concerned that my wife and kids (and probably myself) aren't drinking enough water. How much should we be drinking and why is it so important (I need facts to convince the skeptics in the family)?

A: You've probably heard that we should drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water every ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: No idea what to do … or why to be involved

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is pregnant and I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a father. My wife and I have been talking and it's clear that she has high expectations. She wants me to be as involved as she is, playing with the baby, reading to it, feeding, changing, and everything else. The problem is that I'm just not interested in being that involved --...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Sex-talking ex

Parents / Family Living /

Q: My husband has been divorced from his first wife for 35 years. He has adult children and grandchildren. His ex visits for months at a time, which is great for the grandkids, but when she's here, she's far too familiar, talking about how good their sex life was and how she was the one to leave. It makes me so uncomfortable I don't want to go ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Fiancé wants 'his' son at wedding

Parents / Family Living /

Q: I am pregnant with my first child. I will soon be married to a guy who was with a woman for 7 years. His "son" is 6 and my fiance wants this kid to come to our wedding ceremony. I said no. He was never married to his mother and to continue to be involved on that level will just complicate our life. This is our day! My fiance is furious and ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: Swim and water safety

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: My family loves being in the water, whether it's a pool, a lake, the ocean, or even a bathtub! But every summer, sure as clockwork, stories of children drowning start popping up like mushrooms. It seems to me that drownings aren't really any more common than they used to be -- there's just more media coverage. But the big issue is ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Ready-made family requires meeting of the minds

Parents / Family Living /

How do I get past the fact that my live-in boyfriend still wants to hang with his daughter's mother for special occasions? His daughter just graduated the 8th grade and I had to endure a celebration from hell. Family from both sides were there reminiscing about stuff I had no interest in -- I felt like a complete outsider and this guy expects me...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: The future of fathers

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: This Father's Day is over, but what advice do you have to keep dads involved every day?

A: As someone who spends a lot of time doing research on and writing about fathers -- and even more time trying to be a good dad -- I agree that the fact that the one day per year that's dedicated to dads has passed doesn't mean that dads are ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Support daughter's extracurricular activities

Parents / Family Living /

Q. My child's mother is constantly signing our 8-year-old daughter up for extracurricular activities on my time. I have very little time as it is, and she often cannot come to her scheduled visits because of practices and games. Evidently, she just loves softball. Her mother owes me so many weekends! I would like the opportunity to schedule ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: Body image and eating disorders: Not for girls only

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: I'm completely convinced that my son has an eating disorder. When he was little, he was always a little on the heavy side. At about 11 -- right when puberty hit -- he suddenly started dieting. At first, I was proud of him for taking charge of his own weight. He looked really good and seemed happier with himself. But he kept right ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Choosing sides when friends breakup

Parents / Family Living /

Q: My husband and I hang around with about five other couples. We all have kids and do a lot of kid-centered activities together. I have decided to throw a BBQ for Father's Day -- the guys can grill to their hearts content and the kids can swim. However, one of the couples is splitting up. It upsets us all, but also presents a problem -- my ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: In June … and year 'round … men's health starts at the top: His head

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: I've read several of your columns that have touched on the health of men and boys, but you haven't spent much time talking about mental health. Is male mental health different than females'?

A: Very different. Within the broader men's health crisis, which, as you mention, I've written a lot about, there's one area where ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: There's a fascinating connection between language, rhythm and reading

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: My 2 1/2-year-old is learning lots of new words, but has trouble singing even the simplest song. And although he sometimes rocks in time to music, he's almost never on the beat. Is there a connection between language, music and rhythm, and is a problem with any of them a developmental red flag?

A: In a word, yes. During the second...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Is it wrong to invite my deceased wife's family to a barbecue?

Parents / Family Living /

Q: There is a long weekend coming up and my wife of three months and I are throwing a family barbecue. It's the first one we have thrown and the guest list has become somewhat awkward. I have remained quite good friends with my deceased first wife's family and would like to invite her parents (she was an only child). My wife says I must cut off ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Look who's not talking

Parents / Family Living /

Q: My 7 year old daughter tells me she does not want to leave every time she comes to my house. She asks, "Daddy, why do I have to leave?" At first I told her I didn't want her to leave, but it was ordered by the judge. That didn't help. The next time she came over she became hysterical before she left until finally I asked her if she wanted to ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Red flags over godfather surprise

Parents / Family Living /

Q: My girlfriend of two years has just told me that her ex is her son's godfather. They have been broken up for more than five years. I found out because he was present at her son's birthday party, and when I questioned her about it, everything came out. I was surprised because we have talked about our exes and I know the birth father is not ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: Abortion: An issue that affects all of us

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: I remember a thoughtful column you wrote a few years ago about abortion and the need for men and women to talk about it. I'm wondering whether your thinking has changed in light of the draconian anti-abortion laws in Georgia, Alabama and other places. I'm also wondering what you think about the laws in other states (New York, for ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Is it OK to ground a disobedient child from seeing biological parent?

Parents / Family Living /

Q: My daughter is grounded for a month because of her lying and missing school work. Should she be able to go to her biological father's house over the weekend? He only sees her every few months and he is what I call a Disneyland Dad. What should I do? What's good ex-etiquette?

A: My first reaction to your question was, "Is she serious?" and I ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: Boys and girls: Nature vs. nurture?

Parents / Family Living /

Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I have a boy and a girl and we try as much as we can to treat them the same way. We don't limit our daughter's wardrobe to pink and our son's to blue and we've banned gender-stereotyped toys from the house. But our daughter still behaves like a stereotypical girl and our son like a boy. What did we do wrong?

A: In a...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Keep family harmony with Bonusmom's Day

Parents / Family Living /

Q: When I had my daughter I looked forward to Mother's Day. Every year she would pick me flowers from the garden and we had a tea party in the back yard. As she grew older it became breakfast, but her dad and I ended up divorcing and he remarried and now Mother's Day is not the same. His wife asks if she can just spend a couple hours with my ...Read more

 

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