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Ex-etiquette: Ex wants her back at the holidays
Q. My ex cheated and broke up our family, which we worked hard to blend for more than 20 years. By the time I left, I was pretty disgusted with his antics. My ex was awful during the breakup and made our adult children choose with whom they would spend Christmas. This holiday is different. He is texting me things like, “I want you in my life ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Do I have to go to the funeral?
Q: What is my responsibility when my children’s mother dies and there is a viewing and formal funeral? Ours was a 10-year marriage that ended in a brutal divorce because of her infidelity and remarriage 20 years ago. We had three children, now all adults with children of their own. I see them often and we are close. Will there will be any ...Read more
Ex-etiquette: When Thanksgiving traditions change
Q: My ex and I do not have a formal holiday schedule because we both followed a religion that did not celebrate holidays. Our children have been brought up that way. Over the last year I have met and married someone who does not necessarily follow any religion but makes a huge deal out of Thanksgiving. Her family approaches it more as a family ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Ex won't stop calling
Q. My husband and his ex share equal custody of their kids. However, she calls constantly, whether the kids are here or not. We have asked repeatedly, politely and firmly not to call except in cases of emergency, but today she called to tell my husband that William lost his first tooth. A tooth? He’s got tons of them! It’s driving me crazy. ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Divorce and the holidays
Q. I was recently married. My husband’s parents were divorced two years ago, and they are in the middle of trying to figure out how to handle the holidays. His mother wants us to spend Thanksgiving with her and his father says he will go with us anywhere, just not to his ex-wife's home. My parents have been divorced for 10 years, but prior to ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: At the holidays (and every day), put the kids first
Q: October marks the beginning of the holidays at my children’s school. There are Halloween parades and Thanksgiving feasts, and they are even doing a play at the middle school. I know you are an advocate of spending the holidays together, but I hate my ex. I don’t want to be anywhere near her, let alone be around her at the holiday ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Halloween with ex is no treat
Q. My ex really gets on my nerves. Halloween’s coming up and I don’t want to spend the evening looking at her face. It’s supposed to be my night with the kids, but she wants them at her house to trick-or-treat and I’m thinking about letting them go just because I don’t want to deal with her. Does that make me a terrible father? What’...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Blurry boundaries with his ex
Q. My fiancé and I broke up for a short while, but we have reconciled, and I moved back in about three months ago. His ex-wife, who seems to enjoy causing trouble with the kids, continues to ask him out for coffee, for dinner, to join her skiing. She just asked him to join her in Cabo with the kids and I hit the ceiling. It’s really maddening...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Is pregnancy the problem?
Q. My husband’s two kids go back and forth between their mother and our homes. At first she was very cooperative. We were even sort of friends, but for some reason she has recently become short tempered, horrible actually, and I hesitate to compare notes like I should. I’m eight months pregnant and I don’t need the stress. What’s good ex...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Parenting plan might be difficult for young daughter
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I have been apart for six months. Our daughter is 14 months old. After we broke up, he moved in a new girlfriend a month later. I worry if that’s too soon for our daughter. My daughter is with her dad every other weekend Thursday-Sunday. I have nicely asked this girl to stay away from my daughter, but she ignores me! She...Read more
Ex-etiquette: Look for the compromise with kids' birthday parties
Q. My co-parent and I do not agree about who is to host our children’s birthday parties. We both agree it would be nice to have one party with all the friends and family, but she insists on having them all. She tells me I can have my own party for the kids, but if I do, the kids’ relatives and friends won’t want to go to two parties. The ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Enabling dependence, or simply helping take care of kids?
Q. We pay child support and all med/dental bills, even though my husband’s ex is supposed to pay half. She says she can’t afford it. So she and my husband made a deal that she will just pay co-pays when she takes the kids to the doctor or dentist. I know she has a job. She works at Ross when the kids are at school. But, we are getting ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Party problems
Q. I am throwing my best friend a surprise 40th birthday party. She is divorced and her ex is my husband’s best friend. They were getting along just fine and would have easily attended the same party until he started dating another woman. This woman is very jealous and will not allow my BFF’s ex to be around my BFF, even if it is one of ...Read more