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Ex-etiquette: Enabling dependence, or simply helping take care of kids?
Q. We pay child support and all med/dental bills, even though my husband’s ex is supposed to pay half. She says she can’t afford it. So she and my husband made a deal that she will just pay co-pays when she takes the kids to the doctor or dentist. I know she has a job. She works at Ross when the kids are at school. But, we are getting ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Party problems
Q. I am throwing my best friend a surprise 40th birthday party. She is divorced and her ex is my husband’s best friend. They were getting along just fine and would have easily attended the same party until he started dating another woman. This woman is very jealous and will not allow my BFF’s ex to be around my BFF, even if it is one of ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: Grandparents need flu vaccines
Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I are in our late 60s, and we’re making plans to attend a big family reunion this fall. My daughter is pregnant and has two young kids, and my son has a 6-month old and a toddler. Cousins and other relatives will be there too, and most have kids. Out of the blue, my son-in-law called and told me to be sure that my ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Badmouthing ex is harmful to son
Q. I had an affair, and my ex and I broke up. He tells our son every chance he gets what a terrible person I am. My son is too young to understand and now refuses to see his dad. My ex is convinced I’m the one putting our son up to it. I swear I am not, and I don’t know how to get through to his father that the badmouthing is what’s behind...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Mom and bonusmom must meet
Q. I’ve been married for a little less than a year to a man who has a son from a previous marriage. The boy is 7 years old and my husband and his ex share custody. We see David every weekend, from Friday after school to Tuesday night after dinner. I take care of him most of the time when he’s at our home and we have a very close relationship...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Talk to fiancé about ex's visits
Q. What is considered to be appropriate behavior 15 years after a divorce in respect to the ex and overnight stays? There is no physical relations between the two former partners. They were married for 17 years and have two college-age children. The mother and children live out of state; however, whenever the mother or children decide to come to...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Remind mom that you moved on
Q. My second husband, Miguel, and I are divorced, and I am getting married again. Although we never had kids together, he is the only father figure my son from my first marriage has known, and he is also good friends with my fiancé. My son and my fiancé would both like Miguel to attend the wedding. I’m OK with it, but my mother will never ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Get on the same page with co-parent
Q. My daughter tells me she doesn’t want to go back to her father’s house when her time with him is up. I told her father and he said that is exactly what she tells him (about going back to my house). I am confident my daughter wouldn’t lie about something like that. What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. That your child tells you she doesn’t ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Better communication is key
Q. After four years of helping to raise my bonusdaughter, today was the first time I heard the words, “You’re not my mother!” I was appalled. I know I’m not her mother, but I really wasn’t prepared for how hurt it would make me when she said it. I need a good comeback! What’s good ex-etiquette?
A. A comeback implies you are looking ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: If frightened by ex's calls, call the authorities
Q. My ex and I were married for five years. He worked nights and I worked days. He would call me every day at 9 a.m. to say he was home and wish me a good morning. I was at work and thought it was cute, but then a year and a half ago I found out he was cheating with someone on his shift and I filed for divorce. He cried and begged me not to ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Apologize to co-parent for entering home without permission
Q. The kids are with me every few days. It’s a tough schedule, particularly when the kids are in school. We often forget things. This time their dad forgot to send our son’s teddy bear with him, and he wouldn’t take a nap. I knew his dad never locked his front door — it was the house I used to live in — and so I just went over there, ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: Keep co-parent in the loop about new partner
Q. My ex and I broke up three years ago. I have been dating when the kids are with their father, never mentioning anyone because I’ve never been serious until now. I would like to date someone exclusively. Actually, more than exclusively. We are planning a life together. My kids are young, 8 and 9, and know him as a friend. He has been at our ...Read more

Ex-etiquette: It's not 'your time.' It's your kids' time
Q. I live about 200 miles from my kids. They live with their mother, and I see them the third weekend of each month and during school breaks. The weekend visits are very stressful. I come into town, but they always have things planned, like a baseball or soccer game, and their mother is the coach, so she’s always there. That means I have one ...Read more

Ask Mr. Dad: Fatherhood is thrilling, confusing and surprising
Dear Mr. Dad: A few years ago, I saw a column of yours that offered advice to an expectant father on what to expect when he becomes a dad. I was single then, so I didn’t pay much attention to the article, but now my wife is pregnant and I’m concerned that I haven’t done enough to prepare myself. What’s in store for me?
A: I was just ...Read more