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Everyday Cheapskate: Without Trust, You Have Nothing -- in Money and in Life

Mary Hunt on

Dear Mary: How does one go about telling a loved one she is ruining her financial life? I have an older sister who is a spendaholic; her husband is co-dependent, and they have a spoiled brat for a daughter who gets everything she wants.

They are at least $45,000 in credit card debt. They have a car loan and other debts and bills, yet they continue to spend like they have money. Recently, she picked up a $10,000 bonus check. She told me she was going to "knock down some of the balances."

This week, they are shopping for a hot tub to put in their backyard. -- Katelyn

Dear Katelyn: I know how difficult it is to stand by and watch those we love make serious financial blunders. But these are not your dependent children. It is really none of your business what they do with their money or the way they raise their child. You need to mind your own business.

The way you conduct your financial life will speak much louder than anything you could say. Keep your unsolicited advice to yourself and your nose out of their financial lives.


In the meantime, devise a plan of recovery you would recommend, just in case they come to you and ask for your advice. They just might.


Mary invites you to visit her at, where this column is archived complete with links and resources for all recommended products and services. Mary invites questions and comments at, "Ask Mary." Tips can be submitted at This column will answer questions of general interest, but letters cannot be answered individually. Mary Hunt is the founder of, a frugal living blog, and the author of the book "Debt-Proof Living."

Copyright 2021 Creators Syndicate Inc.



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