The God Squad: We need to laugh more, smile more

Rabbi Marc Gellman, Tribune Content Agency on Nov 26, 2020

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'

Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM, prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.

They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. (the g was missing)

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the Church hall. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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And this one just about sums them all up:

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours.'

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman.)