The God Squad: We need to laugh more, smile more

This was obviously a very sad year and Thanksgiving was obviously a very sad holiday because of travel restrictions, social distancing and forced prohibitions of large gatherings.

One of the consequences of this tsunami of sadness and suffering is a reflexive orgy of complaining and griping, all of it understandable and all of it excusable, but the consequence of this culture of kvetch is that it just makes things worse. Reinforcing for each other the list of things we used to do but cannot do now just adds to our collective burdens.

What I believe turns out to be absurdly simple, but dramatically important, we need to laugh more, smile more and see the bright side of life more. I call one of my favorite joy-enhancing techniques spiritual balancing. It is a simple drill in which we spend the same amount of time speaking about and focusing upon our blessings and we do our burdens. Giving joy the same air time as sadness makes our burdens lighter and makes bearing them easier.

The Psalmist teaches this truth with characteristically brief eloquence, “Serve the Lord in joy.” (Psalm 100:2). The Hebrew word in this verse is simha and it can mean gladness or joy or happiness. Any translation that lightens your heart is fine with me.

The thing about being happy is that it is not abstract. You need to be happy about something. Start with jokes or anecdotes, or, in this week’s example, church bulletins. I wish I could provide an attribution to the following quotes from various church bulletins with typos in them, but I cannot. They are part of the flotsam and jetsam of the internet that floats through my life every day and are sent by you, dear readers. So read these and laugh and remember that we do too much reading and weeping for our own good.

CHURCH BULLETINS WITH TYPOS

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.

Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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The sermon this morning: "The Lord Walks on the Water."

The sermon tonight: "Searching for The Lord."

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.

So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.

Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'

Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM, prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.

They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. (the g was missing)

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the Church hall. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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And this one just about sums them all up:

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours.'

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman.)