Dinner And A Show

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin on May 10, 2024

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I had tickets for a show, and we thought we had allowed enough time beforehand -- nearly two hours -- to eat dinner at one of the casual restaurants near the theater. However, although it was a weeknight, every eatery nearby was packed. We waited at one establishment for 20 minutes until there was a table available.

The restaurant was situated in an old home, and we were finally seated in a side room. There was just one other table in the room, where 12 people were dining. These patrons appeared to be quite inebriated.

My friend's back was to the other table, so he could not see them, but these people began snickering and jabbing each other in the ribs and pointing at us. My friend has a slight Southern accent, but other than that, I cannot imagine why they considered us so amusing. We were clean and neatly dressed. These people were young adults; we are seniors.

Nothing about our conversation could have possibly interested them, and yet, after several minutes, a young man at the table said, "Shh! Shh! Listen! Listen! Listen!"

I did not have to raise my voice in the ensuing silence. I said, "I wonder why the people at the other table have decided to listen in on our conversation." After several beats, I added, "Perhaps they cannot think of anything to talk about among themselves."

My friend appeared to be embarrassed. I think he was totally unaware of the shenanigans that had been going on behind us. Thankfully, we were able to enjoy the rest of our meal in peace. But I feel that I could have handled the situation differently.

There was no other table available at that restaurant, and we were too short on time prior to the show to go elsewhere. How should I have handled this?

GENTLE READER: Your impolite restaurant mates were also looking for a show, and you gave them one. If they could not better disguise their eavesdropping, then Miss Manners believes they got what they deserved.

The only thing to have done differently might have been to alert your dinner partner to what was happening -- and if asked, to have feigned ignorance as to what the source of the mockery could possibly have been. There is no way to be sure that the laughter was at your companion's expense, in any case; mean-spirited and inebriated people will look for any excuse to laugh at someone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After finishing a game of pickleball, my partner and I thanked our opponents, whom we did not know. One of them said, "It was my pleasure." What should I have said in return? I didn't know, so I just smiled.

GENTLE READER: Add a nod and you may consider the transaction complete.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)