Life Advice



Ask Amy: An ‘update’ takes the advice to task

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

But as I said back then, I asked for your opinion, so I got it.

– R

Dear R: Thank you for providing this update. Most of the updates I receive from readers suggest positive change, and while I am cheered by this, I suspect that most of the people who write to me have experiences closer to yours.

I also understand your criticism of my response, and appreciate your willingness to take me to task. My focus was on you trying to stay connected with the younger family members – not necessarily their mother.

However, I have to point out that even though you say your efforts have not been reciprocated or appreciated, these young family members have invited you to two weddings and a graduation. You have refused these invites.


These invitations are the essence of reciprocation. They are bids for connection, much like the ones you made. And now it is their turn to feel rejected.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2024 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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