Life Advice



Ask Amy: American uncle worries about footing the bill

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

You can imagine their excitement and curiosity about meeting their American uncle.

Your brother is passing along this family’s excitement, not asking for you to foot their bill or implying that you should.

I don’t read anything in your narrative that should lead you down this path, but if they are in need or you want to be generous in this way, then paying for their hotel bill would be a very kind thing to do.

Otherwise, I hope you will bring some small gifts from Los Angeles, perhaps take them to lunch or to a museum in Paris, and – if you all hit it off – you could invite them to visit you in your home, and foot the bill when you do.

Dear Amy: I am a middle-age single woman and recently started seeing a man my age. I was married for 20 years, and he has never been married. My two children are in college.

He is a really sweet, smart, and respectful man. We share a lot of common interests.


He recently invited me to his home for the first time and … it is fairly disgusting. Not just messy, but very dirty and unhealthy – with food waste and dirty dishes and pots on the counters.

I’m unsure about what to say to him about the state of his house. I truly don’t ever want to spend time there. Up until then we had always gone out or come to my house, which is clean and fairly nice – like in a normal sense. (I’m not a clean freak or anything.)

Should I tell him about how I feel about his house and ask him to clean it up before I come over again?

– Recovering


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